


CreepyPasta Soulmates

by BubblyShip



Series: CreepyPasta x Undertale [6]
Category: Creepypasta - Fandom, Marble Hornets, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Comedy Club, F/F, F/M, Flustered Sans, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Soulmates, Rushed, Shy Sans, Soulmates, Soulmates AU, Tattoos, ends suddenly, rushed ending, sorta abandoned, stalkers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:27:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25936648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubblyShip/pseuds/BubblyShip
Summary: Soulmates. We all know them. Marked by a tattoo on one's body, to help encounter the person, or people, we're destined to be with.So why in the absolute heck does Sans have nine, and why are they all serial killers?
Relationships: Eyeless Jack/Sans (Undertale), Jane Arkensaw | Jane The Killer/Sans (Undertale), Laughing Jack/Sans (Undertale), Sans (Undertale)/Everyone, Sans/Everyone, Sans/Hoodie, Sans/Masky, Sans/Slenderman, Sans/Splendorman, Tobias Erin "Toby" Rogers | Ticci Toby/Sans (Undertale)
Series: CreepyPasta x Undertale [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1649944
Comments: 28
Kudos: 143





	1. Prologue

There was nothing like having a dead body permanently flaunted on his body.

For monsters, dead bodies were... unsettling. Very unsettling. When monsters died, their souls broke, causing them to lose magic in order to keep their physical form before they would dust away into nothing. They left nothing behind.

Humans were different. They left their bodies, a reminder of what happened. It was horrible to think about. Their souls gone, but their bodies would just rot... Like some type of old food, wasting away into nothing.

What was more unsettling was how it was on Sans' arm.

No, it wasn't hidden away. Right smack dab on the middle of his right radius was a dead body. His soul mate mark, on his arm, was a dead body with its chest ripped open and it was stuffed with little candies.

What a great image to have _permanently tattooed onto his arm_.

It wasn't the only one, though. As if Sans would ever get that lucky. Not one, not two, but nine tattoos were stationed on his body. Nine.

The most anyone ever had before was three, and even that had been amazing at the time. And their soulmate tattoos were actually normal. Cute, small, quirky things that everyone had gushed at. A piano, a cute dog face, small things.

It was weird, getting tattoos of ones soulmate. When a person was born, a tattoo representing their soulmate would appear on their body. Something they liked or did, something about them that would allow you to pinpoint them. Humans and monsters were born with the symbols of their soulmate or mates. Sans wasn't exactly sure what led to it, but he knew it had to deal with souls and their magical connections. Everyone in the world was connected, souls all humming as one as life continued on throughout the days. When souls alike were found to be bondable, they created the tattoos on people's bodies.

Sans wasn't really sure. Everyone had been staring at him that day when the teacher had been talking about it, so Sans hadn't been paying attention much.

The dead body wasn't the only concerning tattoo. After all, he had eight _more_ , so naturally there was more unusual ones.

A bloody hatchet sat on his left femur bone. Blood stained the edge.

A creepy blue mask with black voids rested on the middle of his sternum. Black liquid dripped down the mask from where the eyes were.

Black female lips were on his right hand. They were pulled into a smirk.

The paintbrush could be found on his left foot. It was painting a line in a red color that looked suspiciously like blood, as the rest of the handle was also covered in the liquid.

A weird circle with an x through it was located on his right scapula. Honestly, Sans had no idea what it even meant.

A camera was located on his right tibia. The light was on, and it looked to be a more old fashioned model.

Balloons wrapped around his left ring finger. They reached the tip before exploding into a variety of colors. Sans actually really liked this one, it looked pretty nice.

The final tattoo was the forest. It started at the base of his neck and crept upwards until it reached his cheek, stopping just an inch below his eye socket. It was the biggest, and most detailed of them all. The image displayed a dark forest night, with thick pine trees resting below a black sky and full, glowing moon.

They all looked nice and detailed, sure, but it was hard to walk around with all of them. The hatchet and the body really threw people off, not to mention his abundance of tattoos made people crowd around him. When he wore his blue hoodie and basketball shorts, along with white gloves and pink slippers, the only mark visible was the forest. When Sans discovered that he could use certain monster makeup to cover the marks on his bones, boy did he jump onto that.

It wasn't like he was against the idea of a soulmate, it's just that... he didn't want to put in effort to find them. In the slightest. Sans was lazy, so lazy he didn't want to give effort to another relationship. Watching Papyrus having worked months just to manage to see Mettaton was exhausting for the both of them. At least the two soulmates were happy now!

For Papyrus' mark, it had been easy. A simple face of Mettaton, slapped dead center onto the back of his left hand. It wasn't hard for the two to figure out they were soulmates, Mettaton's being an orange bone attack that extended over his wheel.

Alphys and Undyne had some difficulties piecing together the clues. Undyne had a large neko sword on her wrist, implying that her soulmate may have been a cat monster that used swords. Alphys had a picture of a red swirl, which was pretty nonspecific in her defense. After stumbling around for months and years, the two girls finally came together to realize the red swirl represented Undyne's hair and the sword represented Alphys' favorite anime.

Not all soulmates stuck together, either, so that meant Sans at least had the freedom to not date them if he didn't want to, which was nice. Queen Toriel and King Asgore were an example of this. It wasn't law to date your soulmate, and it wasn't frowned upon for people to prefer not date their soulmates.

Sans did like the idea of a soulmate, though. He really did. Maybe one who would just bring him things, carry him around, it was pretty nice. Where Sans didn't have to lift a finger to add any work in, it sounded promising.

Just... why nine? Why would any monster for the love of Toby Fox need nine soulmates? Either the world thought he was seriously lonely, or it thought he needed a serious gangbang.

And why were they so cryptic and bloody? Why was there a dead human body on his arm, and a giant forest on his neck and face? Balloons, too? What was he supposed to do with this? Date any clown he saw within a five mile radius underground?

That's why Sans resorted to hiding them. He didn't like attention that much, and his tattoos brought _a lot_ of attention. With the more bloody images on his body, and the number of soulmate marks, it easily drew one's eye to him in a snap. What really had encouraged him to start hiding them was when he was holding a young Papyrus, who burst into tears when he saw the mutilated body on his arm.

And if he hid the tattoos, no one would try to comment on that. That's what people did, they looked at others markings to see if they could be possible soulmates. And if his soulmates were looking for him (he had nine of them, one was bound to probably be searching for him) then they would try to make a connection.

It worried Sans a little to think about what type of person would approach him, point to his arm, and say "That corpse on your arm sure does remind me of my hobbies."

Just a _tiny_ bit worrying.

No one else blamed him about his hesitation. Papyrus agreed with Sans, saying the image was... rather concerning. Undyne said if Sans ever did meet the soulmate with that marking, then he should call her for his own safety.

Then came Frisk.

The kid was odd, sure, but they freed monsters from the underground. Sans did thank the kiddo, glancing off into the sunset with a small sense of worry.

In the safety of Snowdin, he had been able to avoid meeting any of his soulmates. On the surface, though...

There was a lot of humans waiting to be met, and he had a feeling one of them might be his soulmate.


	2. Chapter 1 - Comedy Night

One thing Sans would admit he loved about the surface was the comedy clubs.

Underground, Mettaton owned the only club, so it was kind of hard to branch out and get much audience. Especially when it came to people who couldn't afford his extremely overpriced face steaks, so that had really limited down people who wanted to see him do comedy sketches.

But on the surface? There was so many more options. Plenty of clubs were open and did comedy sketches, and when Sans had sent them some of his work, it really hit off. It was easy to get a few skits done, and it was good cash for just saying puns, so honestly it was just a steal.

The club had been rather full that night. Sans wasn't extremely famous, sure, but he has already started to get a following. It was nice to know that some people cleared up their schedule to come watch him. And Sans enjoyed doing comedy skits, so it was a good gig.

"Thank you all for coming out tonight, I know it's very tempting to stay at home," Sans had said when he had entered the stage, gently grabbing the mic to speak into it. "It is, and none of you can deny it. I stay home all day, everyday, and it's great. But at some point you always run out of beer, so I understand why you guys are all here."

There was a general chuckle and giggle amongst the crowd. It wasn't a laugh out loud joke, so it was good they didn't laugh too hard, but it at least showed they were paying attention.

"And I'm sorry about this, it's very obvious, but..." Sans said, touching his skull, "I'm sorry about my balding. If you guys brought sunglasses, I'd recommend you put them on because I'm going to make you blind. I've been meaning to buy a wig lately. Honestly, I have. I'm a short skeleton, so I look pretty thin when wearing clothes because I'm nothing but bones. So I could pull off a rocking girl from behind. I could just be standing in line, my back to you, and you'd think I was some small chick and you'd tap my shoulder to get my number, but instead of some cute teenager or young adult this skeleton just turns his face and is like 'that gay bro' to you. It's my weekend plans."

There was more laughs from the crowd. This was good, they were active.

"But yeah, I understand why you guys might have skipped out to stay home. Staying home is amazing, because I'm lazy. Oh, sorry, I said that wrong. According to my parents, I'm a 'disappointment', but I thought my middle name was Comic, which really threw off me off. My Dad would say that all the time, really. 'Sans, go outside and play, you're such a disappointment'. And I'd just be standing there like 'Thanks Dad, I'm six'. So-"

He was interrupted by laughter, making Sans pause in his sentence. Hey, he got a good crowd! No hecklers or anything, that was nice.

"So yeah, the point is that you guys could have stayed home and but you didn't, which is amazing. Thank you for taking the time out to see me, it means a lot. I'll say it's pretty awesome on the surface, especially since I'm a monster."

Sans paused, looking over the silent audience. "And a hush falls over the crowd," Sans joked, smiling at them. "Did I catch you guys off guard? Like, I know most of you are humans, but I'm not some sort of walking skeleton that was risen from the dead. I didn't burst out of a grave like 'I need to eat ketchup'. No, I was born a skeleton, raised a disappointment, and grew up into some random guy who likes to wear girls wigs and clothes just to f*ck with random dudes on the street."

"Well, actually, I don't do that. Yet. I'm too busy just sleeping at home, one of life's greatest advantages."

"But the surface has been so weird since I got here. Like, underground we were so used to certain things. And now on the surface, it's just weird. Especially since I'm a skeleton. Everyone apparently just assumes I crawled from a 'flesh prison' and am now roaming about. The moment I walked onto stage, I saw half of you turn your heads to the door like either you thought I was a zombie and you guys had to make a break for it, or that you were expecting the police to kick down the door because I was an escaped convict from a human body and was on the run."

"It's not really being a skeleton though, at least, that's not what's weird about the surface. I do know there's some racist humans, which is really weird. I'm just bones and puns, I have no idea what you expect me to do. All I can do is just pet my empty skull and glare at you for having hair and having the ability to get drunk. I can't get drunk, and it's the worst because I would be plastered just _always_ if I could. It sounds amazing, but instead I just end up drinking ketchup while watching my dog friends get high on dog biscuits."

"There is a reason I'd need to drink, though. This is probably the weirdest thing about the surface, and it's the whole 'killy' stuff. Like, you guys were so f*cked before we got here. And after we got here, it sorta spread like an infection, you know, like a zombie. I came up here expecting to infect you but you guys made me a target of killers. Sh*t!"

"Us monsters got to the surface expecting to see paradise, but instead we just found out you guys not only screwed us over, but screwed yourselves over then screwed us over again! What kind of messed up system is this? 'We'll kick the monsters butts, then, we'll kick our own. Then once they get back, we'll kick their butts as we kick our own. After all, it's why humans have two legs'. What kind of-"

Sans had to pause as the crowd erupted too loud into laughter, letting them settle down before he continued.

"What kind of messed stuff is this? I got to the surface just wanting to see stars, just wanting to be free then you guys are like 'Actually, guns are neat. It's also why humans have two hands'. Man, humans are multitasking for sh*t."

And that was how the night went. Sans cracked joke after joke for his set, and he got some good responses. They were a good crowd, for the first half.

Then came the heckler.

Sans couldn't really see anyone from on stage, but he could tell this person was going to be a problem from the start. They had been talking a bit, obviously drunk from their slurred words. Sans addressed it earlier, as they were sitting right in the front, but they continued to talk between his bits.

But when he drew the line was when they shouted out during the Undyne bit, when Sans had been complimenting her about her skills.

"Next!"

The man was loud, and he was right in the front row, too, so Sans could even see him. The guy had a lot of shots and drinks scattered about his table, and he was slightly wobbling. Drunk, definitely.

"Next?" Sans asked him, "What do you mean by that?"

He crossed his arms and looked down at the guy, gaze narrowing. The guy looked caught off guard, like he didn't expect Sans to respond.

"No, no, please elaborate." Sans adjusted his mic. "Because you're not getting out of this one."

"Uh, I meant another beer?" The man asked.

Everyone in the audience was looking at him now.

"Is that what you meant? Or were you offended that I was talking about a woman in a position of power?" Sans asked.

"No, I love women," The man slurred out.

"Then why did you tell out next?" Sans asked.

"No, you and I can talk... later?" The man asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, was I the one who interrupted?" Sans asked, "You interrupted me now, so we're going to talk now. About Undyne and how strong she is. You know she's here, right? And I just talked about how she can smash through boulders, so you might wanna stop drinking so you can outrun her tonight."

The audience around the man erupted in laughter at his downfall, all on Sans' side of this argument.

"Nah, who am I joking. You aren't outrunning her all the way back to your Moms basement."

There was some hoots and cheers, Sans grinning down at the man. He already won the moment the guy had the audacity to shout out opposing strong women. That was seriously a rude move to do.

"You're a d*ck!" The man yelled.

Sans looked down at himself and looked back up with a confused face. He then patted the front of his pants as if he was searching for something. The audience got his silent joke and they all burst out laughing.

"Darn it, you made me excited for a moment man," Sans said, "I don't have one, but then again, neither do you. So I'm guessing that's why you got confused by how they look like, yours is so small you can't see it."

Thankfully the staff had taken action by this point, stepping in to escort him out.

"What the f*CK? I'm getting kicked out? You douchebag," The man said, looking at Sans like it was his fault.

"You know, actually, douchebag refers to an item that was once used to clean out girls reproductive systems. So yeah, I am a douchebag, because I cleaned out your Mom last night. You probably heard from the basement."

With that final remark as the guy left, the audience broke our cheering, clapping ensuing.

That was a good show. Despite the heckler, it was a good show. Though, he did have to end it there because of the heckler. At least he ended on a high note.

"Thanks for coming out to see the show, it means a lot to me to see so many people," Sans said, "You guys were a fantastic audience, except for that one guy, but he's gone so the world can be at peace again. And I'm just going to..."

Sans leaned down and snatched one of the guys drinks from the table, taking a sip of it while some people burst out laughing.

"Hey, he's not coming back, I might as well enjoy it," Sans said, grinning at everyone. "Well, have a great day!"

He walked off stage with the applause, waving to everyone as he walked out of view of the lights. His group of friends were waiting by the doors for him, thankfully. They came to his shows to support him, it was pretty cool of them.

"The guy had a designated driver, he's not waiting out there for you," Undyne said, "But punk, nice job with that heckler!"

"Thanks, the guy was really drunk though, didn't really have a chance," Sans said, "Honestly, he was really rude. Interrupting because he didn't like how I was standing up for women in power, I wish he was the one driving while he was drunk."

"You should never wish for death on anyone, even if they were being sexist!" Papyrus objected, "He might have had one too many beers!"

"Nah, this isn't beer," Sans said, holding up the cup. "But he had like seven cups, I think the guy was wasted. Either way, he still said next on a joke about how strong Undyne is, and interrupted during a comedy club show. Guy deserves at _least_ a broken leg. Thankfully, he paid for my drink."

"Well come on silly bones, let's go home before everyone tries to leave so we don't get caught in the parking lot."

Sans nodded, taking one last look at the crowd. A few of them were standing up since the show was over, and the rest were sitting, finishing up their drinks and food. There was one man who was looking at him, with dark brown hair and sideburns as his sharp brown eyes focused on the skeleton from his seat with his hands resting against his lower jaw, hiding it from view. The man next to him was also staring, a hand dug into his light brown hair while his light blue eyes focuses on him as well. San quickly glanced over them, feeling a bit awkward from their intense eyes.

"Yeah, let's go," Sans said.

Their gazes didn't leave from him even when he turned his back, the feeling if being watched following Sans all the way to the parking lot.


	3. Chapter 2 - Accidental Discovery

The newspaper crinkled in Asgore's hands, the headline as evident as ever across from Sans.

Killings. Ever since getting to the surface, they found out that the humans were dealing with their own problems. Dealing with murder.

Their death rates were higher than monsters, stupidly higher. When they came to the surface, the human government had actually told the monsters that the neighborhoods around the mountain were incredibly dangerous. People were dying left and right, children were going missing. It wasn't very safe to be roaming about in the middle of the night.

"Isn't that the guy that heckled Sans?" Undyne asked.

Sans perked up, glancing up to find the fish monster bent over the newspaper Asgore was reading. The King tilted it to the side to let Sans and Toriel see. And sure enough, it was the same man as last night on the page, becoming the newest victim of the recent killings.

"Oh, that is, yeah," Sans said, "He's dead?"

"Killed at his house, fire," Undyne said.

"Oh, that's sad!" Papyrus said, "He was mean, but he might've been too drunk."

"Nah, screw him," Sans said, "I'm glad he was the one who died instead of someone else. He says next during the Undyne bit and even insults me for him being kicked out? Guy can't hold his liquor. and don't ignore how he had been making comments to the girl next to him that clearly wasn't into him, I kept hearing it during the show. Better him than some good person being hurt."

"The report says they think it was foul play, that someone set it on fire from the outside, like the other houses," Asgore said, folding the newspaper to read more. "He was the only one who died last night, though. That's rare."

"Oh, speaking of which," Toriel said, gathering everyone's attention, "I bought those new locks, to keep Frisk safe from these killers."

"I think the kiddo is good at protecting themselves," Sans chuckled.

"I would say so too, but it's always better to be safer than sorry," Toriel said.

"Of course! The Great Papyrus has ensured his house is completely safe!" He held two plates as he walked to the table. "And your meals have been finished, your Majesties!"

"Please, Papyrus, it's just Toriel, nothing more."

The Queen accepted the plate, as did Asgore, the two shuffling to move their newspapers out of the way.

"So we're going to be leaving at 10, right?" Sans asked Undyne.

"To see Alphys' project, yeah! I can't wait!" Undyne said, pumping her fists. "She's going to be great!"

"That means we leave in ten minutes," Toriel said, looking at her clock.

"Perfect, that's enough time to take a nap."

"Sans, no!"

"Too late bro, I'm already snoring."

"Your eye sockets are open!"

~~~~~~

After they had all loaded into the car, they had made their way to the presentation. It was about the nature of souls, as Alphys had experimented with them, and she was presenting it to the human scientists along with a few monster interns. They were all allowed to visit because she was their friend, so they all got added to the list. Hey, there was free food there, so Sans was willing to go.

The drive was a bit long, as the meeting was out a few towns over. Poor Alphys had to stay the night there to prepare for the presentation, so she wouldn't have to drive at 2 am just to get there on time to start preparing. Undyne would have went, but due to the killings, she had to stay for the night in case there was any attacks.

She never really did get a break. After reaching the surface, her idea to quit being a Royal Guard was dropped quickly once she realized monsters would also be the targets of murderers. Asgore and Toriel were also overworked, as Toriel had decided to take on some of the workload of being Queen. They weren't going to get back together, though, as she already made it clear she wasn't interested in romance anymore. All she wanted to do was focus on Frisk and teaching, her phase of romance was over with her soulmate.

Their tattoos had been on their ankles. Sans could see Toriel's peeking out from under her dress in the van, Asgore's barely reaching past his shoes. Toriel had Asgore's attack of a red trident, while Asgore had a snail pie. Simple, but effective in helping them find one another. Of course, just because they were soulmates didn't mean they had to be together. They tried and failed, and moved on to simply being friends. Maybe it was due to circumstances, maybe Toriel was never ready for love, but their relationship hadn't worked out. It happened sometimes with soulmates.

Then there was Alphys and Undyne, pure soulmates through and through. The sword and cat ears on Undyne's wrist indicated Alphys, and the red swirl of Undyne's hair on Alphys' shoulder proved their connection. The two girls really loved one another, and were always ready to set aside things to support the other.

Papyrus and Mettaton were the same. While the movie star was busy, he made sure to message his soulmate, as Papyrus made sure to clear out time to reply back. The two were workaholics, maybe that was why they were soulmates. The two were so busy they didn't notice the other being busy, and they didn't mind.

Then, finally, there was Sans. Little old Sans, with his nine soulmates marks scattered across his body. The makeup felt cold against his bones, covering the side of his face and neck. His friends all knew about the markings, but agreed to let him cover the tattoos. They had seen some of the designs themselves, and agreed it might be in his best interest to keep them hidden.

The dead body and hatchet were the most concerning one's by far. Undyne really didn't like the dead body, or how it was stuffed with candy. It wasn't just a sign of a murderer, it implied that the killer of the corpse wasn't doing it for self defense. It was a bit scary to think about.

But Sans would admit he did think about the tattoos. What were the stories behind them, what were the people like? All nine of them were so different in their own ways, Sans couldn't help but wonder. Maybe they all knew each other, or maybe his soulmates were complete strangers. For all Sans knew, they could all be split up across the world, and he'd have to go on a scavenger hunt just to track all of them down.

Yeah, too much work. Sans would rather just go take a nap, maybe watch some T.V.

When they finally arrived at the lab, Alphys looked relieved to see them. Introductions were short as she had to go up and do her presentation. They settled into their seats in the back as Alphys started, scientists applauding as she made her way up.

"Souls are u-unique in their ability to determine a perfect m-match, or matches, i-in the world," Alphys started, "Souls a-are bound with the universe, a-and thus, with one another. Because s-souls are connected, specific s-souls a-are able to create bonds and b-become soulmates. The souls are t-then marked by tattoos indicating a p-primal aspect of the other to help the s-soulmates find one another. Of course, t-this doesn't mean that t-they are bound to fall in love, it just m-means they're most likely to. It's a part of l-life that can happen, and often leads to happy couples, b-but it's never guaranteed. Soulmates c-can choose to not be t-together or they can b-break up. Just because soulmates a-are meant for each other doesn't mean they have t-to. Soulmates a-are, though, guaranteed to meet a-at least once within a lifetime d-due to their connection."

Oh, Sans did not know that. Great.

"This can be seen through t-the phenomenon known as d-determination..." Alphys carried on.

The presentation moved on from the soulmate topic, but Sans couldn't get it out of his head. Nine soulmates. He was bound to have met at least one of them by now, wasn't he? Did he pass them on the street unknowingly? Does he already know one of them?

It came to a conclusion shortly after, Alphys nervously staggering off the stage with her final statement on the wonders of souls. Everyone burst into applause, Undyne hooting for her girlfriend as she stood up. Others followed, standing in their seats to clap further.

"Food!" Sans chanted, looking at the buffet table.

"Be careful, you wouldn't want to many of the baked beans. I've bean there before." Toriel smiled to him.

"It's nacho problem what I eat, so don't taco to me that way," Sans replied curtly, making his way to the table.

"Ugh, Sans, why?" Papyrus asked.

"There she is! The greatest girlfriend in the world!" Undyne yelled, rushing over to Alphys.

The lizard monster barely managed to get close before Undyne was dragging her into a hug.

"H-Hi!" Alphys said.

"Great job on the presentation," Asgore told her.

"It was great," Toriel agreed.

"It was up to the Great Papyrus' standards!" Papyrus declared.

"Really?" Alphys asked.

"Course, it was good," Sans said, "No doubt the humans liked it, they were practically swarming around you when you were done."

"Uh, t-thanks," Alphys said, "But I was r-really nervous. Glad it turned out fine."

Sans eyed the table, even though he had no eyes, that didn't stop him. It looked all delicious, he couldn't wait to dig in.

But as soon as he turned, though, that idea was thrown out the window.

A human had been standing close to him with a red cup of juice, and when Sans had turned, they had bumped into him and caused the red fruit punch to splash up and soak his jacket. Some of it had splattered up across his face as well.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" The human scientist said quickly.

"Nah, it's fine," Sans said, holding up his hands.

He was soaked, no doubt about it. A few people were looking over at the accident, but none were really paying attention.

"Oh, uh, your face, Sans," Toriel said, pointing to his face.

Sans moved his hand up to where she was pointing, pulling it away to find white makeup and fruit punch staining his digits. Darn it.

"Oh, wow, that's a really pretty tattoo!" The girl said, "I've never seen one that fancy!"

At least it wasn't any of the other tattoos. It wasn't like Sans was ashamed of them, he just didn't like it when people pointed them out. And started getting scared... And children cried from the body...

Well, just Papyrus, but still.

"Wait wait!"

A nearby intern had rushed up, a look of certainly gathering within their gaze as they looked upon his tattoo. They leaned in close, a bit too close for his liking, their heavy breathing coming in short, excited bursts as if they were holding back something.

"That's my mark!" The human said quickly, not even looking at Sans as their nose grew closer to his bones.

"Uh... Really?"

They didn't sound very confident, and the words sounded rushed. The girl nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, hands fidgeting with excitement. Was she really confident about this?

"Yeah, yeah!" The intern said quickly, pushing him away. "I have this exact picture at home and I'm o-obsessed with it!"

The girl was really unusual about all of this, and Sans felt a little off-put by her instance. She wasn't even focusing on Sans, instead seeming to pay attention to only his tattoo.

"How does that make us soulmates?" Sans asked her, "What's your tattoo?"

"Oh, um, a bone! It's one my uh, you know, lower back so I don't want to show it yet," The girl said.

"Aw, Sans, I'm so happy for you!" Papyrus said.

"That's awesome, punk! You found one of your soulmates!" Undyne said.

Did none of them see through this? Why was the girl so weird about it? She didn't act like she wanted to be his soulmate, but she was acting differently. He wasn't really sure how to pinpoint what her intentions were, but it was weird.

"Can we go out for a bit?" The girl asked, "My treat, since we're soulmates."

"I don't- Now? There's food here." Sans gestured to the table. "And lot's of it."

"Actually, Sans, it would be a great idea! You could go and get a change of clothes while you're out!" Papyrus said.

"Yeah! Let's go!" The girl said.

Sans barely had a chance to give his brother a look before his friends were practically shooing him away with the girl _none of them had ever met before_.

He was going to get them back when he got home. They better pray for mercy from his puns and pranks.


	4. Chapter 3 - Worst Date

Yeah, this was a terrible idea.

The girl was excited. _Too_ excited. Her blonde hair kept trailing down to her face as she breathed heavily, texting on her phone frantically. Sans usually would've judged for her being on her phone during a supposed date, but then again, so was he.

At least Toriel and Alphys were more understanding. Alphys knew Sans wasn't one who really looked forward to dates, and Toriel knew what it was like to be expected to date a soulmate when one wasn't really interested. But everyone seemed to all agree on the same thing in the group chat, much to Sans' annoyance. He couldn't ditch his soulmate without at least trying one date with her. It wasn't fair to her or himself by judging, and he had agree through his teeth. As much as he hated it, they were right. It would be a crummy thing to do to ditch a soulmate just because Sans wasn't interested after how they met.

Maybe they'd click, who knows. It wasn't any of the other tattoos, she probably wasn't going to kill him. They were soulmates, there had to be _some_ reason to why they clicked.

But as this 'date' continued onwards, it was pretty clear. This chick was lying about being soulmates.

It wasn't uncommon, people had been known for doing that in the past. It never happened to Sans specifically, but it happened to Papyrus, so Sans was rather involved. Some random guy thought he could measel a one nighter outta his brother by faking a soulmate tattoo on his wrist with markers. Good thing he was a bad artist, and good that Sans had used markers on pranks so many times that he knows what they look like drawn on skin.

The girl, though, was completely different. She didn't even seem interested in Sans, more so in his tattoo, looking at it before she would even look at him, if at all. It wasn't like the other situations, where people would fake soulmates because they loved or wanted to get into bed with the other, as she didn't even care about Sans. She forgot his name three times after he told her it, and was so busy on her phone with her friend he was practically ignored. Heck, she had even taken a photo of him and sent it to her friend, waving off Sans when he inquired about her action.

Thankfully, at least Sans had made sure to take separate cars to the nearby restaurant they had traveled to, so he could run if it got any weirder. And judging by how this was going, he had his car keys in his hands.

"So, soulmate," Sans said, crossing his arms on the table with harsh, impatient movements.

The blonde haired girl wasn't even paying attention, typing away at her black phone. She glanced up at the doors for a moment, then looked back down.

"Here is your lemonade," The waiter had said, settling the drink in front of Sans. "Would you like to order?"

"Uh, yeah," Sans said, "The bacon burger, to go, as fast as you can."

The waiter looked between the two and nodded, pulling their menus away. The girl hadn't even ordered, or touched her menu, instead focused on her phone. Sans muttered a thanks and watched him walk off, wishing he had brought some extra make up or something to cover his tattoos. Sans ended up having to stick with his drenched hoodie rather than ditching it and letting her see his other tattoos. After how she freaked out seeing just one, he didn't want to take any chances with the others.

Sans gently lifted the cup up to his teeth, sipping through the straw while watching her. At this point, he was considering just leaving now and getting food somewhere else. He was seriously hungry, but this crazy girl was making him rethink this decision.

"We're not soulmates, are we?" Sans asked her.

She didn't pay any mind, smiling creepily at her phone. She dragged a finger across the screen, ignorant to his words.

"Figured," He muttered, leaning back.

The girl suddenly jerked up, twisting the phone around to show him the screen with a grin. It was a picture of his soulmate mark, the one she had taken earlier, but there was a red outline drawn poorly over the picture.

"You can see him, can't you! He's in your soulmark!" The girl said quickly.

The outline on the picture was sloppily drawn in the shape of something behind the trees on his tattoo. Sans was about to push the phone away with a remark before he did notice something, leaning closer.

Without the lines, it looked like normal trees, but now... he could see the outline of some man standing in the trees in the distance. It was faint, but now that it was traced in red, he could understand why she'd think it was someone else. But they looked too tall, and he couldn't see any features to distinct them from the trees. It was a bit of a stretch, but he could understand why she saw someone. It did look like someone, in a sense.

Blondie had drawn back her hand, looking at the picture with an excited giggle. "It's him, I know that figure anywhere. Tall, wearing black, blending in with the trees. It's him, it's him!"

Okay, this was getting weirder.

"Yeah, I can see how it looks like a person," Sans muttered, "Uh, who is it?"

"It's him, the operator!" The girl said, "I can't believe the internship to make some money was the one who led to you, not the hours with the others!"

"Uh huh," Sans said.

The door wasn't too far. He had his keys, he could just run. He already brought out money for the drink and burger. Sure, he wasn't fast, but she wasn't paying attention.

Maybe he could throw the lemonade at her, for a distraction. She'd probably just block her phone with her body with how obsessed she was with it.

"Here's your bacon cheeseburger," The waiter said, placing it down in front of Sans.

"Thank you," Sans whispered to him, taking the bag into his hands.

"No problem. The check is here too-"

Sans shoved a pile of money into the guys hands, effectively shutting him up. "That's a fifty right there, I know the burgers here are only nine bucks, take the tip for being a bro right now."

The waiter nodded, understanding Sans' uncomfortability with the creepy girl. This guy was awesome for doing this.

"Do you want me to call the police or something? She's been taking lots of pictures of you and I don't blame you for needing some backup," The waiter whispered, leaning close to Sans.

"I don't think so," Sans replied back, "But seriously, thanks for the backup."

"No problem."

Sans started to get up with the bag as the waiter walked away before the girl was suddenly jerking out of her seat, startling Sans. Was this girl going to try and jump his bones? No thank you.

"Wait, wait!" The girl said, "Where are you going?"

"Uh, to eat this burger with more... sane people," Sans said, "It was great meating you, but lettuce leave and ketchup another day. Probably not, though. Okay, bye-"

"Wait!" The girl said, reaching over and gripping his hoodie. "Just- Can you come with me?"

"To some creepy dungeon?" Sans asked, "You seem like that kind of person."

"No, no, there's um... that once place, near the forest, it's a good picnic area," She said, "I wanted to set up a picnic there!"

"Can I just go?" Sans asked.

"I have more food in my car for a picnic, I just, since we're soulmates, wanted to make a picnic!" The girl said, "I promise, you can leave afterwards."

"But I can leave now." He pointed to the door.

"I- please?" She asked, "I swear, if you don't like it you can leave. I just want to try something more romantic for a date."

"And you'll leave me alone. For good? No pictures, no phone, nothing?" Sans asked her.

"Yes." She nodded firmly.

Sans pretended to think for a moment before he was backing away, the waiter standing by in case the girl did something crazy. Seriously, that guy was awesome, watching out Sans' back like that.

"Yeah, I'm going to leave now, because either way I'd be further away from you," Sans said, backing away. "Bye."   
  


He never ran so fast in his entire life.

~~~~~~

Sans was less thrilled with Papyrus when he arrived home.

Sure, Papyrus had good intent, but Sans was understandably upset. His hoodie was still soaked (his favorite hoodie, by the way) and he hadn't eaten yet. And Sans liked food, as much as he liked not going on dates with people he knew were going to be a problem.

When he got back, the others weren't home since they were still at the event. Which Sans just wasn't really in the mood to be at, not anymore. He was just burned out.

That was a big difference between Sans and Papyrus. Sure, there was a lot of differences, but this played into their main functions and schedules. Papyrus was an extrovert, he had boundless social energy. Sans did not. One event for the day was enough, and the date had drained him to no end. If that even was a date.

Either way, he was exhausted. One day, and he had done so much work. It would be nothing compared to Papyrus, but it was a lot for Sans.

His beloved, old hoodie was sticky as he pulled it off, white makeup staining the inside with the multiple ketchup stains. Even Sans would have to admit he needed to wash this, as much as he avoided washing his clothes, big spills needed to be washed. It was his favorite hoodie, then again, it was his _only_ hoodie. Not much of a selection.

The washing machine hummed in the other room as did his microwave, the two providing sound to the otherwise silent house. Sans stood in the bathroom, the sounds uncontained by the ajar door as he found himself looking into the mirror, skull tilted to the side as he observed his tattoo.

Odd, he never noticed the figure before. He always thought it was just trees, and it could very well be trees still, but he could see how she thought it was a person. It could've been either, it was anyone's guess.

Due to the spill, his other soulmate marks uncovered by his clothing also stood out. He looked like a decoration without his usual makeup.

It wasn't that Sans disliked his marks, no. He didn't mind much. Even with the dead body and bloody weapon, why should he hate them? Sans didn't have to date his soulmates if he didn't want to, it wasn't really their fault he had these marks. They probably had weird marks from him too. If any of his soulmates had a meme on them, he would absolutely not apologize. That would be amazing to have as a soulmate mark!

What Sans didn't like was the effect they caused, such as today. Sans didn't like it when people tried to use tattoos for their own motivations. They were supposed to signify who you were most likely to bond most with, and yet people would twist that around. Those who tried to lie just to lure gullible romantics away, others who would mock partners that were not soul mates.

And so, the makeup box of white covering was pulled out of the bathroom drawer, Sans looking down at the object. The microwave beeped away in the background, lost to the skeleton.

It would be cool to not have to buy this stuff anymore. Sans wished he could change the world, make it so society wasn't so ridiculous. Then again, he wished he could change so much more. But for now, society would be as it was, and Sans would be forced to adapt.

He popped open the box, bringing the paintbrush to the side of his skull, swiping upwards to gently drag a line of pure white makeup over his tattoo.

Maybe one day, he could escape from his entrapment. Escape from the memories, from the resets, from the expectations, from society.

But for now, he couldn't.

So, the makeup stayed on.


	5. Chapter 4 - CliffSide Thoughts

Gentle wind prodded at Sans as the stars twinkled above, their soft glow lingering in his sight as he dragged it down to his book. Both he and the stars were quite the opposite of his brother, who was excitedly talking with Undyne somewhere behind him. Their chatter made up for the silence of Sans, who gently enjoyed the sight of the vast star sky.

Sans loved the stars, there was no doubt about that. Finding the telescope underground in the dump was a blessing, for both his pranks and his own research. Stars were something special, he loved them, no doubt about it. Just the way they looked, and how calm and peaceful it was at night, it felt nice. Sans was a night dude, while Papyrus more enjoyed waking up earlier.

The spot they were at was perfect, he loved sitting here and looking up at the sky, taking in the view of the open world around him. It was an area of land propped up above the forest, creating a perfect place to settle down. Sure, some people might have been afraid from the slight 'cliff' look to it, but Sans didn't care about the height. Sure, it was risky to fall, but he knew his own magic. Not to mention the Underground had a lot of rocky cliff like areas, monsters quickly learned how to be careful near heights.

There was a section that really did look like a cliff, one that stood out above the forest below. It was the best view for the moon and the forest, letting him admire both the stars and vast forest with one sitting. That's where Sans was, his legs over the edge as the backs of his legs grazed the dirt below. Monsters were so used to rocky terrain, it had been a bit of a surprise to see how humans insisted on making everything so smooth and flat. It wasn't a shock that humans discovered the escaped monsters easily had better balance.

Even anxiety prone Alphys wasn't scared, having dealt with hotlands turning paths and cliffs. She was thrown through air across lava filled gaps, a smaller cliff above the forest was nothing to them. So, as Papyrus and Undyne continued to yell about something behind him, Alphys joined him on the edge, her feet too grazing over the edge.

"It's r-really pretty out," Alphys stuttered, social anxiety present in the words.

"Yeah," Sans agreed.

The wind continued gently, Alphys' tail shivering as it was exposed to the cool night sky. She never really did like cold weather.

"I'm really s-sorry about the date thing, we should've n-not let that girl go out with you so suddenly," Alphys apologized once again.

"Nah dude it's fine, I know Papyrus is a bit overly excited when it comes to romance," Sans said, smiling at her. "He's been reading those dating manuals for years, he wants me to be happy with someone like you are with Undyne. He's done things like this before, they've never went this bad. The chick was just really weird about it all."

"I hate i-it when people fake soulmarks," Alphys muttered.

"Ditto."

It was annoying to fake a soulmark just to be with someone. Why would someone even do that? If a person liked another, it wasn't taboo to go on dates with non-soulmates. To a few stricter people, maybe, but it was widely accepted that soulmates wasn't a guarantee for the future. And Sans didn't care that they weren't soulmates. He just didn't like that she lied to him about it, took pictures of him without even asking, then tried to lure him into the woods. That's just creepy.

That wouldn't have been the first time Papyrus set Sans up with someone, and it probably wouldn't be the last. His brother was a romantic, as was Frisk, and the two loved to set people up to make them happy. Thank Toby Fox the kid was on that trip for school, or he would have been screwed more if Frisk had been the one to set up Sans and that girl.

Papyrus was simply too fast to jump to ideas without looking ahead, another difference that lay in their souls. Sans wasn't really trying to look for his soulmates, he really didn't care. Of course, there was the whole situation of the dead body and bloody weapon, and what those possibly implied, but that wasn't Sans concern. He didn't care if he found them or not. Sans had a happy life now, he found no need to rush out and change things.

Well, as happy as it could ever get for Sans. But still, he didn't have the need to go out and search for adventure, not like Papyrus. Yet Papyrus insisted on hooking Sans up, trying to create romance where it wasn't. Sans never really minded the dates, not until they twisted into a creepy girl trying to lure him from public.

That wasn't Papyrus' intent, and his brother apologized afterwards. Maybe if he had a bit more foresight, Papyrus could have seen Sans' very clear signals of 'Bro this is a bad idea' the short skeleton had been frantically flashing at him. Either way, it was over.

Louder yells echoed across the usually quiet forest and Undyne and Papyrus freaked out over their small grill, flames exploding above their heights into the sky above as their food caught fire.

Again?

"That was all of our noodles!" Undyne yelled, "No!"

"Fear not! We can always continue back at your house!" Papyrus said.

"Sure thing punk! This night was meant for training, and if it takes all night we're going to stay up! Your spaghetti for Frisk's return is going to be great!" Undyne roared.

The forest rumbled with movement, trees fluttering. Her voice and the sound of flames roared over the usual calmness, just as it did for any given situation. The others didn't notice this change, nor did they notice Sans' glance towards the disrupted forest.

"Nyeh heh heh! Nothing but the best from the Great Papyrus!"

"C'mon nerds, we're going to go back home now! The barbeque was a bust plan!" Undyne said, picking up the grill that was still burning.

Alphys turned towards Sans. "You coming back?"

As tempting and fun as it was to go back with them, Sans had to decline with a quick shake of his head. He planned to go to bed as soon as he got back to his own home, and he already watched enough of their training sessions to know where this would go. It was entertaining, and it was always fun to bond with Papyrus, but Sans hadn't been out to the forest in awhile. He wanted to enjoy the view, and the silence he had missed out on earlier.

"Nah, I'm good," Sans said, "You guys have fun."

"Remind me to b-bring my books next time," Alphys said, standing up. "So we c-can go over them together."

"Will do, Alph." Sans gave a curt wave as the lizard retreated to the car, the female returning it.

They all gave Sans a goodbye before they were leaving, letting the introvert within Sans take a small breath of air. Sans loved his friends and brother dearly, but sometimes he had to take a step back and relax. He used to do this underground with the dogs, playing poker with them to have a more laid back group to fall upon. He enjoyed hanging out with them, sure, but sometimes they were a bit much. Sometimes Sans felt like he needed to cool off with a calmer crowd.

Maybe it was due to only Toriel enjoying his puns, but sometimes Sans felt like he never really had a role in the group. Or maybe it was because of the resets, or the constant lies that he found himself telling the others, hell if he knew. But Sans wasn't truly with their group, not like they thought he was. All of the friends had their own role in the group, yet Sans was simply the comedic relief. A role he didn't mind filling, but a role not very necessary. Not to them, anyway.

It wasn't like they declined Sans, or tried to push him away. This was simply due to the boundaries Sans had placed throughout his life, boundaries formed to protect his mental health. Lies built the walls, and this was the result. They were his friends, but unless he could manage to tear down those walls, they would always be a bit distant. Communication was key to good relationships, and Sans wasn't communicating everything he felt.

But how could he? How could he tell them about the resets? How could he tell them about the Royal Scientist, who fell into the core? How could he tell them about the determination experiments? How could he tell them about the machine, dusting away in his basement underground?

The answer was simple. He couldn't.

And thus, the cause of the wall surrounding Sans' heart. He simply couldn't explain it to them, he couldn't tell them. Sans had spent so many years building those walls, so many resets, so many tears and sleepless nights. Now he had a firm wall, one that had protected him against so many hardships, but one that blocked out his friends and own brother. Sans didn't know how to break down that wall, how to tell them how he felt. All he could do was make a skeleton pun and pray they didn't ask about the way he had tensed moments before when Frisk had picked up a knife to help cut tomatoes.

Even with the set backs, Sans still found himself happier now than before. His brother had a good job, monsters were on the surface, and resets were a thing of the past. The need for the emotional blockage was gone, but Sans was so used to it now that he didn't know how to get rid of it, even for his own brother.

Sans just wanted Papyrus to be happy. That was all he really wanted in his life, honestly. That's why he built those walls, took on emotional burdens, fought against the resets. It was all for him. And now Papyrus was happy! He had a good job, a great job actually, the restaurant was perfect for him. Not to mention a boyfriend that was no doubt going to turn into a husband, his soulmate and famous, rich lover who already spoiled him.

That was it, Sans was done. Papyrus was happy, so Sans was happy.

But that's where the doubt started to bubble up again, making Sans squint up at the moon as if it was the cause of his inner turmoil. Sans kept telling himself that, over and over. Simply because the resets were done, then he must be happy. Yet Sans can't help but question himself.

Sans was happy for Papyrus, but was he happy with where he was in life?

He had friends, but he couldn't connect to them on an emotional, connecting level. He had a good job, he loved doing stand up, but he only did stand up in small, dainty bars where hecklers roamed about. Then, there was the date from yesterday.

Soulmates.

Could soulmates be the reason why the others were so happy? Papyrus and Mettaton were close, as were Alphys and Undyne. Toriel and Asgore, although over, had gotten closure and moved on with their own separate lives.

Maybe there was some truth behind Papyrus' motivations for setting Sans up. It could explain why his brother seemed so excited to hook Sans up with a possible soulmate, because he had found happiness in his own and wanted his brother to find that same happiness. But they were different, very different. Papyrus was like the sun, standing tall in the sky, with everyone else in the world around him, understanding and connecting with him. Sans could be like the moon, cooler in contrast with no one but himself to view the moon during the late hours of the day.

Would soulmates be a good idea for him? Everyone else seemed so happy, maybe that was what Sans was missing. Even if he and his soulmates didn't click, the closure should be enough.

Sans never thought himself to be a romantic, so he wasn't really sure how he would even pursue this. Alphys did say that soulmates were guaranteed to meet at least once within their lifetime, how would that play out? Maybe they would bump into each other as stand up comedians behind the curtain, or maybe they would cross hands reaching for ketchup. Or maybe-

"F*ck it, I'm kidnapping him!"

Okay, apparently that was happening now.

The voice had shouted out from behind him, emerging from the forest just as the rustling did. Sans managed to turn in time to find a sight to behold.

If what happened earlier was funny in its own right, this was next level.

A hooded, orange goggled man was practically jumping out of the woods, with two more hooded figures trying to drag him back into the darkness.

"Let me go Masky! I'm done stalking!" The man was yelling, struggling against their hold.

"Um..." Sans mumbled, watching the three of them struggle.

They continued to yell more at one another, not even noticing Sans' presence. The skeleton awkwardly watched as they struggled, the one man seeming to try and run towards him while the others continued to push him back.

Okay, they were a bit crazy. Or a lot. First that girl, now these guys? Humans were more prone to insanity apparently.

Yeah, Sans did not want a repeat of the date. That was a no go. He quickly gathered his items, holding his telescope under one arm and his book under the other. With a blink of magic, he was appearing back inside of his living room, dropping to the carpet with a sigh.

This was going to get annoying soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should warn you all that I never planned to upload this, but some people on Wattpad really wanted to see the story so I wrote it anyway. however, since I had actually no inspiration and direction, you might see the quality and will to write downgrade after the next few chapters. I'm just warning ya, this isn't my favorite fanfiction


	6. Chapter 5 - Antique Store

"Thank you for coming along, Sans."

Toriel gently tilted the old typewriter to the side, admiring the old designs decorated along the edge. Sans looked around the cramped store, boredly glancing at the clock. Antique stores weren't really his thing, but he agreed to go for Toriel's sake. They were door buddies after all so, door buddies gotta stick together.

"I can't believe you'd take a day off of work just to go to a store," Sans said, tilting his head to the side. "One about old things."

"Sometimes even old ladies like myself need a break from day to day life, and why not spend it with a dear friend of mine?" Toriel gave him a smile. "So you can meet my fellow old people."

"Pft," Sans snorted at her joke, holding up an old doll. "Like this?"

"Obviously."

The shop was rather void of life, Sans and Toriel the only two that could be found in view. Instead, it was cluttered with old things, each object jammed together on shelves and desks. Sans wasn't too big for shopping, but it was fun to hang out with Toriel. She was a pretty cool friend, and could do puns like no one's business.

"I think I've become rather fond of my life now," Toriel hummed happily, "I'm taking care of Frisk, have an amazing job, good friends, and I don't have to stress about romance anymore. Not to mention, this old fashioned tea set."

"Sounds cool," Sans said.

Toriel gently inspected the tea set before setting it down, continuing on into the next room.

"I'm just saying since my life is fully satisfied, perhaps I can move on to helping other people get there," Toriel said.

"Is this about soulmates?"

Sans could alway catch on whenever Toriel would try to give any of their group a lesson. She was older than everyone else, so she was often the one to give advice to them when it was deemed necessary. And that, apparently, was now.

"I'm sorry you had a bad encounter before, with the female," Toriel said, "But I feel like you've decided to entirely give up searching for your soulmates."

"I never did start, really," Sans explained.

"Do you not want to find them?"

Sans shuffled aside an old jack in a box, picking up a weird looking nail from behind. "Oh man, I would have said you nailed it and used this, but uh, you're off. I'm just not really trying to find them. Having a harem of soulmates sounds cool, yeah, but I don't want to go hunt them down and deal with more crazy people like that girl."

Sans had turned to find the same jack in a box he had just pushed to the side now on the shelf in front of him, which frankly was a bit startling. He brushed it to the side, glancing back at its previous location. Yeah, no, he definitely had moved it before, and now it was here.

"Understandable," Toriel said, "But don't give up all hope, I'm sure you'll find your soulmates soon."

"Maybe," Sans hummed, turning around a corner to find-

Gosh darn it, really?

There was the same box again, now sitting on a desk right in front of him. Sans wasn't seeing things, this box was following him.

"No," Sans whispered lightly so Toriel wouldn't hear, pointing at the object.

"I just want you to be happy," Toriel had said from the other room, entering just as Sans pulled away from the box. "You're the only one out of the group who hasn't found their soulmate, or soulmates, yet. And if you don't want to date them, that's fine, and very understandable. But I want you to have the chance to meet them, so you can make that decision yourself."

Sans nodded, walking with her through the room. Really, it was cool of her to be like that, all of his friends were pretty cool about Sans' tattoos. They all were a little worried about him, that was for sure.

He almost said a swear aloud when he had once again rounded the corner to find the same darn jack in a box sitting on the shelf, the black and white designs practically taunting him.

"Sans, are you alright?" Toriel asked.

"Apparently I'm getting this box," Sans sighed, grabbing a hold of the object.

"A jack in a box?"

It was pretty obvious someone wanted Sans to buy this, for whatever reason. Maybe it was Gaster, reaching from the void just to screw with him. Or maybe the box was haunted, maybe Mettaton and Napstablook had a long lost fourth cousin. Either way, the box kept appearing in front of Sans, probably to be bought. There weren't duplicates, as he had checked where it was before, and it was gone. Not to mention how unique the box looked, with faded black and white patterns circled along the surface.

"Yup, why not?" Sans asked, holding it up for her to see. "It looks pretty cool, and maybe I could make puns about it."

Or maybe this had to do with those three random guys in the woods. How? Sans wasn't really sure, but it was always a possibility. Both were following him, it looked like. Except one was a box, and the other was a group of humans who were doing... whatever they were doing. It didn't matter, Sans hadn't told anyone. Why would he? Sans wasn't even sure how he felt about it. If anything, it was just really weird.

When they had finished their touring around and went to purchase the box, as Toriel found nothing that really stuck out to her, the man behind the counter hummed in confusion, tilting the box.

"Oh, um, okay," He said, "I guess you can just have it for free."

"What?" Sans asked.

"We don't own anything like this, I think someone might have just left it over night since you guys got here first," The man said, "Someone might have thought they were donating it or something, we don't have any antiques like that box. Just take it."

"Oh, cool," Sans said.

Okay, so it was free now. Sans and Toriel left the antique store, climbing into her blue minivan. The back was loaded with childs toys, Frisks drawings huddler into a pile. You could go anywhere around Toriel's house and could see evidence of her beloved child. Sans glanced back into the mirror, listening to Toriel's eager chat about their future absentmindedly. Yup, there was Frisk's stuff back there. Their drawings, striped sweater, large creepy clown that was staring at him, and-

Sans almost choked, looking back at his face with wide eye sockets. Nope, that was a man in their backseat. Just... just chilling there, even offering a curt little wave to Sans. How friendly.

With a black and white styled clown outfit he sat, long and clawed fingers wiggling slightly in a waving manner. Sans looked back and forth between Toriel and him, trying to figure out exactly how neither of them noticed a man dressed up as a creepy clown that snuck into their car.

Was he dangerous? The guy had sharp teeth and claws, and he did sorta sneak into their car.

"Uh, Tori?" He pointed towards the mirror.

"Hm?" She looked at the mirror, squinting as if she couldn't see the creepy clown sitting in the backseat. "Oh my, my fur on my head is off. Thank you for letting me know, Sans."

"No, the... you know," Sans said, instead moving to point directly at the clown.

No, he wasn't just in the mirror, he was really in their car. Sans looked at him briefly, unsure how to react. He couldn't exactly jump out of a moving car, despite Papyrus' somehow impressive talents to do so. They were on a highway, and his brother still jumped out and didn't even get a scratch, then _beat them home_. Impressive for his bro, that was for sure, but it was something Sans couldn't replicate.

"Your room is more messy than my car, mr," Toriel said, rolling her eyes with a snort. "Don't go judging my car when you have a sock pile bigger than my entire sock drawer."

So could she not see the weird clown that just showed up in their car? Sans looked down at the box, then back up at the visitor. He pressed a finger against his own mouth, making a soft "shhh" that rumbled throughout the car. Toriel didn't notice.

She couldn't see him.

Guess Sans wouldn't either, then.

After everything that's happened, he's too tired to even care. From the whole girl incident to the cliff one, and dealing with the resets, he just couldn't find it within him to be shocked or even scared by this. Guess there was just a clown in their car now, he'd just have to accept it. If she couldn't see him, then she wouldn't believe Sans. So why bother to tell if it would be useless?

When they got home, evidence that he was invisible to other people continued to be shown. He had climbed out of the car after them, following behind Sans. Very closely behind Sans. The presence was always there, lingering right behind Sans. He clutched the box, turning it in his hoodie pocket. Just a goat, skeleton, and tall creepy clown. Nothing abnormal whatsoever here.

Sans wasn't even sure what to do. The clown wasn't attacking either of them, he was just following Sans. Now that Sans thought about it, he appeared after Sans had the box.

"And I'm sure you'll find your soulmates one day," Toriel continued talking, setting her purse onto the counter. "Everyone does, at least once. And you have nine chances to find love, that's many more chances than the average person."

Soulmate...

Sans was sitting at the counter, sometimes glancing over at the clown. Toriel moved around, unknowingly walking right past a clown that far exceeded her in height. He hadn't spoken yet, remaining in the corner as he simply watched, not commenting on anything. Could he even talk? Or was he only able to watch? Why was he always looking at Sans?

Soulmate...

"All you have to do is look for a bone tattoo, it's a good thing skeleton marks are much easier to find!" Toriel said.

No...

Sans realized a sudden fact of the clown he had been observing. He turned, narrowing his focused gaze onto the clowns neck.

Where a tattoo lay.

Sans knew what a bone stretched around a round object looked like. As Mettaton was soulmates with his brother, his tattoo was on his wheel, stretched around the entire thing. And it looked awfully like the marking on this clown's neck, as if a bone tattoo was wrapped around his neck.

No way.

This could not be happening. Not like this. Not under these circumstances!

"Oh, more bad news," Toriel said softly.

She pulled aside the morning newspaper she had neglected to read before they left, pulling it to her attention. The clown let loose a giggle, tilting his head before he gestured for Sans to pay attention.

"A child was found murdered, oh my... how terrible," Toriel whispered, "And their organs were replaced with candy."

Both Toriel and the clown looked at Sans. Sans looked down at the newspaper, unable to find any sort of explanation to give his goat friend.

"Like your tattoo," Toriel said.

"Yeah," Sans said, voice raw from confusion.

Like his soulmate tattoo. Like the clowns tattoo.

Such as puzzle pieces did, everything fell into place. Their two tattoos, the way he followed and watched Sans. Why Sans was the only one who could see him

No _f*cking_ way.

"I believe we should tell Undyne and your brother." Toriel grasped her phone. "I know it may be a stretch, but your soulmate mark does share the same characteristics as this. That's rather concerning."

"It is." Sans felt his voice go quiet.

Toriel must have mistaken his lack of a decent response for fear, as she quickly went to encourage him with a "Everything will be fine" before she scampered off into the other room, dialing rapidly. Did she really think Sans was so scared of the idea that he wouldn't be able to hear the phone call? Seemed so.

Unfortunately, she wasn't aware she had just left him alone with the clown that had been watching him.

Clowns like candy. The child had been stuffed with candy. Clowns, or just this clown, had pretty long claws. The child has their gut clawed open. Sans had that soulmate mark on his arm. The clown had a bone soulmate mark on his neck.

"Are you-"

Before Sans could finish, the clown was standing up and walking towards him. Oh. Apparently this was happening now.

"Wait, hold on-"

"Hehe, nope!"

The clown leaned down, planting both of his hands firmly onto Sans' shoulders. He then leaned in, and-

Started to kiss him.


	7. Chapter 6 - Touch Starved

Touch starved. That was something Sans had learned about himself as a child, when he had finally taken a step outside of the lab. Before he never realized it, but monsters were wired to have physical contact. From a simple hug from a friend, or being held as a child, it was something all monsters needed. It was when he left when he realized how touch starved he was, how simply getting a pat on the shoulder made him know just how much he wanted to just hug someone.

Monsters knew this, it was common in their society. They needed love and hope to survive, so it wasn't frowned upon to ask a friend for a hug. But Sans was never raised that way. He never had any sort of love shown to him until a monster had patted him on the shoulder, the simple affection of friendship showing just how lonely he was.

He looked it up later, and had found it was a real thing. Touch starvation was a thing, and he craved it. Nowadays, he was too scared to ask for affection. It was difficult to go up to someone and ask for a hug.

Maybe it was the combination of being touch starved and meeting his soulmate that really gave him a kick, but they had kissed. The lack of caring could have also been a cause, and it would have been more work to try and push him away and gain an explanation. He was cool with kissing.

Until it developed rather quickly. Maybe they were just a little, little excited as well. Not enough to prompt a one nighter with a creepy, invisible clown that was his soulmate, nah. But it was enough to have them feverishly making out with each other when Toriel was away, only pulling back when she entered so Sans wouldn't look like he was making out with air. Honestly, he doubted it would have been the weirdest thing she has seen him do.

"It'll just be for the night, Sans! Apparently the killer has been moving towards our area, and if you are soulmates, which may be possible, and they might target you!" Papyrus' voice rung out from outside of his door.

That was their plan. After Toriel had called everyone about the newspaper, they had done some research about the killer. It was a serial killer, a demented one that followed a certain pattern. Children were always the main target, with their stomachs clawed open and their organs removed, instead replaced by candy. Attacks were random, but they were recently following a pattern, moving towards the town where Sans lived inside of. Their plan was to have Sans stay in his room for the night, just in case his likely soulmate was trying to hunt him down.

If only they knew the soulmate was already inside of his room.

"That's fine, bro," Sans called out, tilting his skull to the side to allow Laughing Jack to trail kisses and little bites up the side of his neck.

It was really Sans' suggestion to do that, he was fine with missing his show that night. Not to mention being in his room alone really gave him sometime to ask the clown some questions. Just after they stopped making out.

They hadn't really managed to get enough alone time together for Sans to clarify what was going on. What he did manage to clarify was that they were indeed soulmates, his own name was Sans, the clown was called Laughing Jack... and that was it. They didn't get much time to talk, as someone was always in the other room, able to hear Sans if he did try to ask questions. Instead they just resorted to kissing, which he was pretty cool with.

Sans was stationed on his lap inside of his room, the two curled up onto his bed as they continued their make out session. He liked not having to do much work, so this was pretty nice for him. Not to mention it was the first time he's kissed in... well...

Oh, this was his first kiss. Right. Yeah.

Sans wanted to make a pun about it, but he couldn't with Papyrus right outside of his door.

Laughing Jack continued to gently nip on Sans' collarbone as he talked to his brother, clawed fingers gently holding him.

"Nah bro, it's fine, really," Sans said, "Don't worry about it, we're just playing it safe. I don't think they even know I'm h-" Sans sucked in a breath when Laughing Jack suddenly bit down, giving him, you guessed it, a hickey. "H-Home!"

Sans swore silently, grabbing onto his back as he felt Jack start to make a mark that would definitely show if Sans' hoodie slipped wrong. Good thing he had that monster makeup.

"Don't use this as an excuse to be lazy, sillybones! We're just making sure you're safe!" Papyrus said, oblivious to the serial killer that was currently biting his brother. With razor sharp teeth.

"Yeah, makes sense Paps," Sans said, "This'll help me build some backbone, don't worry."

"I'm sure we'll figure this out! Goodnight Sans!"

"Night."

Sans tightened his legs around the clowns waist, leaning into his touch. When was the last time he ever got hugged like this? Papyrus sometimes hugged him, but it wasn't as often, and it never had any romantic implications behind it. Much less with the steamy atmosphere the skeleton and clown had built. An interesting way to meet his soulmate, that was for sure. Not that Sans was complaining.

When Papyrus' footsteps trailed away did Sans push back his head, looking down at his collarbone. Yeah, that will definitely leave a mark.

"If you give me too much of those, I'll look more like a leopard than a skeleton," Sans mumbled.

"That's good, then," Laughing Jack said, "Like a spotted potato."

"Potato?"

Laughing Jack leaned down again, gently nipping at the hickey on his collarbone. He trailed up, ending with a kiss with Sans before he drew away again.

"You're my precious little potato, Sansy," Laughing Jack said, "And you're very tiny in your height, I like that. Like a little potato. Thus, potato."

"I- alright," Sans said, "But am I hot? I could be a hot potato if I'm hot."

"Very hot. Little hot potato of mine."

Sans shifted on his lap, adjusting his grip. The mark on his collarbone continued to tingle, evidence of Sans' lies. He really didn't like it when there was physical evidence for his lies. He was good with his words, but he couldn't explain away a hickey. His bro knew one when he saw one. Because Sans saw Papyrus with one, once, and had chased Mettaton with a bone in hand to smack him. So Papyrus clearly knew what they were.

As long as Sans remembered to keep his hoodie on, he should be fine. Hopefully.

"Don't go around biting me without asking, alright?" Sans said, lightly flicking Laughing Jack.

"Aw, okay," Laughing Jack said, "But I had to, so the others would back down."

"The others?" Sans asked, "You mean my other soulmates I'm guessing?"

"Yuparoo!" Laughing Jack said, pulling on his hoodie strings.

"I'm going to guess they were the people in the woods."

"People in the woods?"

"Guy with orange goggles, guy with mask, they yelled about kidnapping me or something."

Laughing Jack's smile fell flat, turning towards the window with a narrowed gaze.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

"Nothing."

Uh huh, sure. Sans poked his cheek, drawing the clowns attention back onto him.

"I'm guessing their my other soulmates, aren't they?" Sans asked.

He wasn't stupid. They yelled about kidnapping him. Well, one had. The only reason Sans could really think someone would suddenly want to kidnap him instead of just murdering him would be because they're soulmates.

Digits traced along the bone tattoo across the clowns neck, idly dragging across the white and black marking. His skin was pretty cool, yet had an odd warmth radiating from him as a weird aftertaste, if Sans were to describe it. It was nice.

"Nooo..."

"You're a terrible liar."

Sans liked this. Just sitting, talking and hugging. Something he hasn't had in a long time. It just felt so open, so honest, like a relief from his struggles in life,

"So, I'm guessing, since you knew them, you've all interacted before," Sans said, tilting his head to the side in his thoughts. "I know a lot of soulmate poly relationships have a linking person, and I'm guessing that's me."

Soulmates weren't strictly a monogamous thing, as there could be multiple soulmates to multiple people. Usually, there was one person that was the 'link' of the larger relationship, which contained all of the tattoos of the other soulmates. Usually the linking person tended to be the most easiest to find, sort of a beacon that allowed for the other parties to collect around them. Sans suspected he was the link, that was pretty clear by his multiple tattoos. And it made sense, as a skeleton monster, all of his soulmates wouldn't have a hard time finding Sans. Wether that was good or bad, though, he didn't know.

"Obviously," Laughing Jack said, leaning down against Sans and nuzzling his cheek. "I like cuddling with my little potato."

"Aw, I like cuddling with you too. It's nice," Sans said, patting his head. "But I don't think you can keep me from my other soulmates."

"Yes it does." Laughing Jack hugged Sans closer. "They're dangerous, I have to keep my little potato safe."

"But you killed that kid, and I'm guessing those other kids with the candy bodies," Sans said, looking at him with a raised eye socket.

"Shush."

With that, the large clown returned to pecking kisses along Sans' collarbone. Seemed like the guy was a hugger, that was for sure.

"Look, it's great that we met and all, I mean it, I do enjoy your company," Sans said, "I ain't gonna snitch or anything, but I don't think you can stay forever. Even with the invisible trick you can do, I gotta get some shut eye in. I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed, but I can't do it if you're constantly giving me kisses."

Laughing Jack hugged Sans closer. "Okay!"

The clown pulled over Sans' thin blanket, holding up the flimsy material. He then tossed it to the side, pulling out a much thicker blanket from who knows where, and instead draping that across both of their bodies. Sans glanced at him questionably.

"You're going to sleep in my bed with me?"

"Am... Am I not allowed to?"

"No, it's fine, I just think your... um, your legs..."

Due to Sans' short height, he got a pretty small mattress, and a small blanket to accompany it. However, his newly discovered soulmate did not have that luxury, and that caused his amplitude of legs to dangle onto the floor, even when his front half wasn't lying down. Sans had no problem if his soulmate shared a bed, heck, he loved the attention and cuddling they've been doing all day, and he wasn't objecting to cuddling before he went to sleep. What he was objecting, though, was the poor guy having to squeeze onto the small space.

"It's okay, I can twist and bend around." As he said that, he held up a hand, letting it twist entirely backwards like his body was made from rubber.

"That's not terrifying at all," Sans snorted, "I gotta hand it to you, though, you are good at twisting the truth."

With that pun, Sans decided to finally let himself go to sleep, snuggling under the blanket with a soft sigh. "No more hickies, mr."

Laughing Jack laughed, laying down behind Sans and hugging him from behind. "No promises."


	8. Chapter 7 - Drunk Celebration

A wrapper crinkled as Sans turned the candy, listening to Toriel's discussion over the phone about the killings. They had been trailing for awhile, this certain type, and suddenly they dropped off. Silence. The media was holding their breaths over it, as no one really knew what was happened. These had continued for over thirty years in a steady fashion, but suddenly there were no more dead bodies with candy. A curious event, for outsiders. Some thought the killer finally gave up, others were worried they'd jinx it by saying the killer might have died.

Sans knew the real reason. The killer was sitting next to him, leaning against his hand as he watched his soulmate eat some candy.

"Oh my, again? I told Frisk to stop leaving their candy around." Toriel lifted her foot, looking down at the floor where a small pile of candies lay.

Sans knew the true source of the candy, and that was Laughing Jack. The clown left candy around often, and apparently really loved to watch Sans eat it. Seriously, the clown liked to watch Sans eat candy. He'd slide candy over to the skeleton, lean against his hand, and just... Watch. If Sans had to guess, he'd say Laughing Jack might be attracted to Sans eating candy.

Eh, Sans had nine soulmates, he's long prepared for one of them to be a little unusual.

And he's seen some of the things Alphys watches, if Laughing Jack was into his soulmate eating candy it was still tamer.

Yeah, he and Alphys had a very long talk about her not leaving her discs inside of her DVD player. Sans had turned on the TV for their hangout session and frankly, he had not been prepared for what she had been watching.

"You look so adorable," Laughing Jack giggled, patting Sans' head.

No one could still see him, and the box hung lightly in his pocket. Sans wasn't sure how to break it to them, so he didn't bother. How could he tell them? 'By the way guys, I found my soulmate and he's a serial killer clown you can't see, and agreed not to kill anyone if I give him cuddles'. To be fair, Sans was cool with that deal. He liked cuddles.

Ever since Toriel had saw the original headline and made the connection, they had been playing it extra safe. Windows were covered, doors were locked, and Sans didn't go outside. Toriel was talking to Undyne about the safety of Sans. Honestly, Sans had always expected this outcome. When people had dangerous soulmate markings, this was the usual response.

Alphys had another science event she had to participate in, as life on the surface was rather busy. This one was closer, thankfully, and was a less big and fancy event.

"Tori, like I said, I'll be fine," Sans said, "Only two of my marks are really creepy, it's fine. I doubt all nine of them are actually serial killers."

"That doesn't eliminate the possibility of you getting hurt, Sans," Toriel said.

"C'mon, I can't stay in here forever. You heard Alphys' speech for the last event, I'm going to end up meeting my soulmates no matter what I do." Sans pointed at her. "You've goat to be my wing-woman."

"I'm sure being killed by a hatchet would be a fantastic idea for a date with one's soulmate," Toriel chuckled.

"Heck yeah, tree cutting date, let's go," Sans said, making a little party motion with his hands.

Toriel laughed at his joke but was quickly distracted by something Undyne said, holding out her hand to excuse herself as she stepped outside of the room.

"I bet your soulmates are all jealous," Laughing Jack practically sang, rocking Sans gently before kissing a small kiss on his cheekbone. "They can't even see you but I've been here with you, having you all to myself."

"What are my other soulmates like?" Sans asked, "How many of them have you met?"

"All of them. They found each other because of the tattoos, and they even asked me to join their little group." Laughing Jack placed a hand against his mouth and giggled. "But I found you first, how ironic~"

"Wait, they formed a soulmate group?" Sans asked.

"Yuparoo. To find you."

Sans ignored the rhythm, blinking a few times. From what he knew, the three weird people he had saw stalking him on that cliff were probably his soulmates, which he had confirmed with Laughing Jack. So they were...

"Why?" Sans said.

"Serial killers don't have much hope. When a bunch notice they have the same soulmate, they gather together to find them."

Sans stared at him. "How many... how many of my soulmates are serial killers?"

Laughing Jack tilted his head. "Almost all of them."

Great. Sans had always prepared to have one or two soulmates be involved in some killings, judging by the dead body on his arm, but almost all of them? If they all went full Yandere, he was going to die.

"There's only one who isn't a killer, but he's brothers with another, so oopsie," Laughing Jack giggled, "But they know that having a serial killer soulmate is hard, so they've been playing it safe."

"And that's why you turned down their offer, I'm guessing?" Sans chuckled.

"Mhm." Laughing Jack nodded firmly. "I didn't want to wait, and now I get your first cuddles and kiss before them."

"Wow, so greedy," Sans joked, lightly hitting his shoulder.

Before they could continue on the subject, Papyrus was entering the front door, a bag of food tucked under his arms. He moved his shoulder around to close the door, still ignorant as ever to the clown that was sitting besides Sans.

Sans had been prepared for a soulmate to not fit the stereotype of a soulmate. That was fine. He knew everyone was different, and with nine tattoos, one of them being a weapon and another being a dead body, he knew he was going to have some difficulties with them.

But eight of his nine soulmates were serial killers?

Things were going to get interesting, weren't they?

~~~~~~

Thankfully he had managed to convince Undyne to let him out, with the help of Alphys and her common sense. Yes, some of his soulmate markings were concerning, but locking him away for the rest of his life wouldn't work. If Sans hadn't met them before, he would eventually. Not to mention he would end up meeting them one way or another, and it'd be better in a public area then trapped in his own house.

Thus, the restrictions were lifted, and Sans was heading out to Alphys' next event to support her. 

The reason Undyne probably made a rule like that anyway was likely due to all of the murderers and her sense of protection. Sans couldn't imagine what it was like to be in charge of so many people's lives, then to see that one of the most dangerous serial killers may have a soulmate of one of her friends. Everyone had a soulmate, naturally some poor person would wound up as a serial killers soulmate.

Maybe it was a good thing, that Sans was the one who was soulmates with these serial killers. He hadn't met them, but he was probably the best person to be their soulmate. Undyne wouldn't have tolerated being anyone's soulmate that killed, nor would Toriel. Alphys probably would have wilted away, and if Papyrus was soulmates with someone that could hurt him, Sans probably would have gone crazy.

Not to mention the mindset Sans had over them. Due to having such markings for so long, he had grown used to the idea of meeting one. He was still worried over them hurting his friends and family, but now he knew they weren't. Laughing Jack had informed him of such.

Speaking of Laughing Jack...

Sans patted his hoodie pocket, making sure he felt the box, hidden away beneath the blue material. It would be a bit distracting if he had a clown ghost following him around, so he made Laughing Jack stay home. It didn't matter if people could see him or not, but it'd be a big distraction for Sans, who was trying to support his friend. Laughing Jack didn't want to at first, but some extra kisses and promises of cuddles steered him away.

That did bring up the question of what they were. Laughing Jack just appeared in his life, and now Sans had a boyfriend of sorts. Really, he had no idea what their situation was. They weren't exactly too romantic yet, but this wasn't exactly a fling either. They hadn't had sex, they were just cuddling and giving lots of kisses. Of course, soulmate relationships did typically move faster, it never did take long before soulmates were usually making out. So he was going at the average speed, really. No, the problem was how exactly he was going to do this moving forward. He could barely tell his brother about the problems he faced before, how was he going to tell everyone he was making out with a serial killer, invisible clown now?

"Sannnsss," Undyne slurred, throwing an arm across his shoulders.

"Oh my lord, you're drunk," Sans snorted.

It was rather expected. The new party celebrating Alphys' research, that was significantly smaller, was being held at a bar. Of course everyone was going to get hammered. The problem Sans had with it, though, was that Undyne was her and Alphys' designated driver.

Maybe they switched it up and Alphys was the driver now. Sans glanced over to find Papyrus trying to comfort Alphys, who was very much drunk and curled up under a table, sobbing about how much she loved Undyne. Yup, she was hammered.

"Dude, oh my Toby Foxxx," Undyne said, weighing her until body down against him. "Alphys and her accomplishments- d*mn, I love 'em."

Ah, so she was feeling lovey drunk. While Alphys was always a sad drunk, Undyne switched between a challenger drunk that had to fight everyone and a lovey drunk who wouldn't stop talking about her soulmate. Combine that with drunk, sad-happy Alphys, and it was a mess to behold.

"I think you've drank enough," Sans said, carefully grabbing the cup out of Undyne's hands. "Why don't we go take a magic ride away to your bed, huh? So you can cuddle with Alphys."

"Yay, Alphys!" Undyne slurred.

Papyrus thankfully had the same idea, as the only two that were actually sober due to the nature of their bodies. Simply put, skeletons couldn't get drunk. At all. It was physically impossible, as alcohol and other beverages affected physical bodies and digestive systems, while Sans and Papyrus were just bones. If they were to get drunk, it'd have to be something that affected the soul, much like monster attacks did. The closest Sans ever got to feeling drunk or having his mind slightly altered at all was a special monster attack that caused the victim to become distorted when Sans had been helping this monster practice their attacks. However, attacks like those lasted briefly, and couldn't compare to the strength of intoxication.

The upside was that skeletons could never be poisoned, and could eat food no matter how spoiled it was. The downside was that they always were the designated driver, and that people would carelessly get drunk with the two brothers around.

If Undyne had warned them she changed her plans, a heads up would have been nice. Sans and Papyrus didn't mind being the drivers to make sure their friends left safely, but they already promised Toriel and Asgore to drive them back.

"Who do you want to drive home?" Papyrus asked, walking over to Sans with Alphys carried on his back.

"Alphys, I loveeeee you," Undyne said, holding out a wobbly hand towards her soulmate.

"I'll take the lovebirds home, you take the goats," Sans said, "I don't think I'd be able to get either Toriel or Asgore out of the car."

"That works! The great Papyrus will make sure the majesties are safely returned home, Nyeh heh heh!" Papyrus declared.

"Good idea, bro."

~~~~~~

Undyne banged her head back and forth, stumbling in her pace. In her arms she carried Alphys, one arm securely tucked around her girlfriend in a bear hug while the other was wrapped around Sans for balance. She continued to ramble unintelligible words, frayed hair catching into her mouth before she was sputtering to get it out.

"Here we are, front door," Sans said, using the keys to unlock her house. "Goodnight Undyne."

"Goof... whew, good night," Undyne said, hugging Alphys before she stumbled inside.

"Yup."

Undyne stopped, turning around as she blinked at Sans. "Heyyyy dude," She said, "How do you feel about your soulmates?"

"What?" Sans asked.

"I love, loveeee Alphys," Undyne said, hugging her again. "If any of your soulmates are like... killy, you should still date them. You're soulmates for a... a reason, right?"

Ah, yes, Undyne's relationship talks. When she gets drunk in her love mood, she tends to offer advice to others about love. The only time Undyne ever gives good advice for romance is when she's plastered. It brings out a side of her Sans doesn't typically see, but she never directed her advice at him until now.

"I'll tell you this now because you're drunk, and you won't remember," Sans said, knowing full well Undyne was a blackout drunk. "When I do meet them, I wanna at least try to date them, even if they are the serial killers. As long as they don't hurt anyone I care about, I'm fine with them being killers. I don't judge."

"Coooool," Undyne slurred, "Good luck, my fine skeleton." She patted his shoulder. "Byeeee."

Sans made sure to lock the door from the inside before he placed the keys in the container next to the front door, closing it once he saw Undyne and Alphys collapse onto the couch. Oh man, they were going to have intense hangovers, that was for sure.

However, they were definitely going to owe him one for making him walk the entire way back. As he had taken their car, he had to leave it in their driveway, leaving his car back at the bar. In turn, Sans had to walk all the way back to the bar just to drive home.

This is why they should have warned Sans and Papyrus before, because now Sans had to walk back. It wasn't too far of a walk, sure, but still. It was dark, he was alone, most of his friends were passed out or drunk, and he was walking down a dark street when serial killers were roaming about. Fantastic, thanks Undyne.

Laughing Jack did say that his soulmates had been stalking him, so what if they were watching him now? Sans kept his eyes on the sidewalk, sighing lightly before he turned towards the sky. There was no point in looking, he couldn't do anything about it if they were. Best to let them keep their distance then engage them before he knew if they were obsessive or not. If they were Yanderes, he was going to throw up.

Sans stopped under a streetlight, pulling out his phone after he felt it buzz. He finished dropping them off and is on his way back, so that's good. Sans texted him a quick 'be safe'. At least, if his killing soulmates were stalking him, he knew they wouldn't be out to hurt Papyrus. And hey, if they had been following him this entire time, they might have heard what he told Undyne.

Footsteps sounded down the sidewalk before stopping near Sans, making him look up.

Holy crap, this guy was tall.

He looked rather concealed, but his height rivaled Laughing Jack's. Tall and slim, wearing a black outfit, turned towards the road with a fedora on. Was he... had he been following Sans? What if he was his soulmate.

Then Sans noticed he had been standing at a bus stop, and almost slapped himself for jumping to conclusions. This guy was just using the bus stop, Sans was just being an idiot.

Before Sans could walk away, he suddenly fished into his pocket, holding out a hand. "Could you hold this for me?"

Sans eyed him cautiously, looking at the object he was holding out. A rose. A single, red, plain rose, nothing special or interesting about it. If this guy went creepy, Sans could simply teleport away. If he was trying to hit on Sans, the skeleton would have to pass. Sans could see one tattoo peeking out on his neck, and another on his wrist. If he was Sans' soulmate, he'd only have one, as Sans was the link, not two.

"If you're trying to hit on me bud, it won't work," Sans said, gently taking the rose out of his hand. "Listen, I'm not... not..."

As if his mind suddenly shut down the moment Sans touched the rose, Sans found himself at a loss for words. Heh. He took a step back, giggling at the funny way his words dropped of as he found his balance odd. Things were funny. He was feeling really giggly. Very, very giggly. And hot. 

Ooohhh, maybe he should... what was he saying?

It was sudden, but the fog that was now clouding his skull made it difficult to think about the change in his mental state. Sans couldn't focus on anything, he was giggling a lot, and swaying in his stance. Everything was funny, so funny.

"You and me, you know..." Sans said, pointing an unstable finger towards the tall man, "Like... have some sex... I dunno why, but now I kinda, winda, linda wannaaaaa." He blinked a few times before he giggled at the words. "Funny..."

"Would you like to?" The man outheld a hand for Sans to grab. "Because I can show you a good time."

"Okayyyy..." Sans reached out for the hand.

Then two hands were on his shoulders, pulling him away from the stranger against something. A wall? Sans giggled at the idea, wiggling the fingers on his still outstretched hand. A wall with arms sounded funny.

Sans turned towards one of the hands on his shoulders, trying to blink away the fog that was continuing to cloud his mind. The hand was rather pale, as if a pasty paper white, with long fingers with skin that practically hugged the bones. He could briefly see a tattoo, but it was at an angle, and Sans could barely process it enough to understand what he was looking at. Instead, he turned his attention to the other hand, that was pulling the rose out of his hand. Sans made a noise of objection as it was taken away, then started to giggle again as he watched it be crushed. 

"Offender," The man behind Sans spoke, voice low, reminding Sans of a soft forest breeze.

"You and me should f*ck," Sans slurred to the person behind him, looking up with squinted eye sockets towards the man lacking a face.

"Slender," The first man said from in front of Sans.

Slender, the man behind him, paid what Sans said no mind, returning his other hand to holding the skeleton against his chest. Or, rather his legs, as he was ridiculously tall. Why was everyone taller then him? This wasn't fair!

Oh, because Sans was short. Sans giggled again, unable to stop himself as he snorted loudly. Right, he was shorter than everyone else, so naturally they were taller. That was funny. Funny! Sans liked funny.

"When I saw stay away from my soulmate, I mean it." Slender tightened his hands on the drunk like skeleton.

Sans could barely process what they were talking about, the words drifting right through his warped mind. He heard them loud and clear, but processing them wasn't his specialty at the moment.

They continued to talk for a bit, and Sans zoned them out in favor of patting his face. After some exchanged words, and some warnings involving violence, the man that gave Sans the rose turned, walking away with... defeat? Sans didn't know who won, but he turned up towards the Slender guy. Sex now?

Sans didn't know why, but now he suddenly felt giddy, and felt like he should get into bed with anyone, really. The thought only made him feel giddier.

Without any words, the taller reached his hands under Sans' armpits, lifting up the skeleton and resting him against his chest. Oh, a nap then! Sans was cool with naps.

"'M sleepy," Sans said, laying his head against the shoulder.

"It is rather late," Slender spoke evenly, turning towards the forest.

Sans saw something black wiggling in the corner of his vision behind Slender, causing him to reach out and pet it. In his barely coherent state, he assumed it to be a simple pet worm, lightly petting the top.

"Silly worm," Sans muttered, "Does it like worm hugs like Olaf the worm?"

The tall man simply patted Sans' skull. "Go to sleep."


	9. Chapter 8 - A New House

He was throwing up.

Sans was in a room he didn't know, in a shirt he didn't know, throwing up into a toilet he didn't know.

To say his morning was interesting would be to put it lightly.

Sans woke up groggy, as per usual, with a massive headache and the sudden urge to throw up. He barely had time to realize he was changed into a bigger shirt before he was hauling out of the bed, the urge to vomit overwhelming his senses. Thus, Sans found himself inside of the bathroom connected to his room, hunched over the toilet. A rather interesting turn of events.

After throwing up the many ketchup packets he ate last night, Sans straightened, shaking his body. That was weird. Skeletons usually didn't throw up, that meant something weird happened to his soul last night, as he wasn't injured.

Sans rubbed his eye sockets, flushing the toilet. After he threw up, he felt immediately better, which meant someone probably used some magic on his soul. Monsters tended to feel sicker after their souls were influenced, as it was the culmination of their being. Messing with it always left people a little sore, but someone must've really messed with his to make him throw up.

"Oh d*mmmnnnn."

Sans turned towards the door, finding a kid that looked to be no older than 15, with his arms crossed. He was wearing a plain black gaming shirt and green pajama pants, thick blonde hair poking out under a green hat. What really caught his attention was how similar to link this boy looked, from the Legend of Zelda. Pointy ears pressed against his head, red eyes staring at him as blood trailed from them. Why were his eyes bleeding?

"Yeah, not a good morning." Sans staggered to his feet, rubbing his mouth.

When Sans straightened, the boy snorted, covering his mouth when he saw how big the shirt was compared to Sans. It almost went down to his ankles, very clearly pointing out his lack of height. Sans could feel his basketball shorts, so thankfully whoever stripped him didn't take off all of his clothes. They probably changed his hoodie because of the stains he got in the bar, as he had spilled some ketchup onto the front.

"Looks like it," He said, "So um, do you remember anything from last night?"

Sans narrowed his eye sockets. "Kinda. I think I pet a snake?"

The boy blinked. "Dear god, you were so out of it- okay, this is going to make my job so much harder."

"Your job?" Sans asked.

"Well, not my job, but everyone else is being all angsty and dramatic, so I gotta be the one who talks to you and explains what's going on," He said, "First off, I'm not Zelda."

"Isn't Zelda the Princess?" Sans asked.

"Yes, thank you! Everyone always calls me Zelda instead of Link, and it drives me crazy! I mean, my real name is Ben, but if you're going to mistake me for a video game give use the right character."

"Okay, Ben," Sans said, "So why did you say everyone is being all 'angsty and dramatic'?" Sans asked, "Who is the everyone we're talking about?"

"Your um, well, soulmates," Ben said.

"Oh, you mean the serial killers?"

Ben blinked. "You _know_?"

"I met Laughing Jack like, a week ago," Sans said, "His box is- wait, where's my hoodie? It had his box."

"It's in there, on the nightstand," Ben said, pointing over his shoulder. "But the reason they're all being angsty out there is because they're afraid of scaring you away."

"Yeah, they don't have to worry about that." Sans scratched the side of his face, looking away. "I mean, Laughing Jack sorta threw me into knowing about killings head first by following me home invisible and telling me most of my soulmates are serial killers. Not to mention I've had a dead body on my arm my entire life, so I've had time to adjust."

"Yikes," Ben said, "Yeah, I have a bloody knife on my chest, it hadn't went well with my parents. But I should explain why... okay, okay." The boy straightened, sticking out his flat hands towards hands to try and tell him his situation. "So last night, you took a rose from a guy. Do you remember that?"

"Right, yeah, I do," Sans said, "Then I got... oh man, I got drunk from a _rose_?"

"As much as it sucks, that's his power. We call them 'Slender brothers' of sorts, and they all have these weird, specific powers. You met Offender, and when you accept any sort of flower he gives, usually a rose because he's a perv, he can make you pretty much drunk. Specifically, flirty, wants a one nighter drunk. Everytime he gives a rose, he pretty much uses it to get a lay without 'forcing' it. Even though it's still forced."

"He tried to rape me? Oh, Toby Fox that's gross," Sans groaned, "Do you guys just sit around and tolerate it?"

"No, we try to stop him everytime we can," Ben said, crossing his arms. "Except the only person who can stop him is Slenderman, and Offender knows Slender is typically busy."

"So just don't take flowers from him, and he can't do anything?" Sans asked.

"Yeah, just stay away from him. He's pretty much why you're here, and Slenderman brought you back because he wouldn't be able to bring you home in the state you were in."

"How bad was I?"

"Offender makes you horny when you take the rose. I've seen what it does to people, basically you act like you're on every drug and you're very easy to be manipulated. Slender made sure to keep you from everyone, you passed out before you were even here, thank god. Imagine if you had been awake and under the influence surrounded by your soulmates."

Sans groaned. "Good thing I passed out."

"Yeah, good thing. But," Ben held out his hands, "Are you really cool with us all being crazy serial killers?"

"Eh, I don't mind," Sans said, "Just don't kill anyone I like and we're cool."

"The whole reason everyone's been freaking out is because they don't wanna blow it," Ben said, "When they all have the one soulmate, they get concerned."

"Nah, it's alright." Sans tried to adjust the shirt, but it was too big to do much.

"That's good. I was the only one who was actually willing to come in here and talk to you," Ben said, "Slender would have, but he's dealing with Offender with Splendor. Everyone else panicked. I think you'll like 'em. Wanna walk around and maybe meet them?"

"A tour by the legendary not-Zelda? Yes please," Sans said.

Ben led Sans out of the room, but let the skeleton stop by the bed to grab his hoodie. Good, the box was still there. Whew.

"So what are a bunch of serial killers doing in a big place like this?" Sans asked Ben, hands hanging into his pockets as he stalked behind.

"Well, everyone else gathered first because of their tattoos for you," Ben said, "You know, how multiple soulmates usually meet. Then they found Jeff, gave him a home, found me, brought me in and then found Sally. Slender has owned this mansion for awhile so I guess it's become a CreepyPasta sanctuary of sorts."

"CreepyPasta?"

"That's a nickname we're called. Guess it works."

They stopped in front of a room, the muffled sounds of movement escaping. Ben pushed open the door widely, revealing a moderately sized laundry room. A man, standing in front of the washer, was filling it with soap before starting a cycle.

"Hey, Eyeless Jack, you doing laundry?" Ben asked.

"Yeah," The man said.

He turned, revealing a familiar sight to Sans. It wasn't the baggy black jeans, nor was it the dark blue hoodie or brown whisps of hair that stirred Sans. No, it was the blue mask set onto his face, with black sockets leaking a black syrup like liquid. Exactly like Sans' tattoo.

When he saw Sans standing next to Ben, he paused, freezing like he had just been caught doing something bad.

"Hey, I'm Sans." Sans held out his hand. "I'm-"

Before he could continue, Eyeless Jack made a sound between a gasp and a squeal, turning frantically as he looked for an escape. He then proceeded to leave the closest way possible, flinging open the dryer door and climbing inside. He then shut the door once he was folded inside, leaving Sans in silence and Ben covering his snort with a cough.

"-Not welcome here, apparently." Sans finished his sentence, lowering his hand.

"That's about what I expected," Ben chuckled, "Everyone's been real nervous since you got here."

"Should I just make an announcement over some loudspeakers that it's cool if they kill?" Sans asked, "I don't wanna parade around and make everyone freak out."

"Nah, we should keep walking around like this," Ben said, grinning.

"You want to freak them out, don't you?"

"It makes them lose their cool, it's funny to watch."

Sans pointed towards the dryer. "Isn't it really dangerous to stay inside of one of those? Should we let him out?"

"Nah, he'll climb out after he hears you leave. We made sure you can open it from the inside because Sally kept hiding in there."

"Oh, okay then. I guess I was just too clothes for comfort."

There was a muffled laugh from inside the dryer.

"I think we can get going now so he can get out," Sans said, "But um, nice to meet you for the brief moment I saw you."

Was this how his entire trip was going to go?

Maybe it wasn't exactly a good idea to throw Sans into a house where all of his soulmates were. It might be a little... much. Then again, he didn't really have a choice, as he just woke up here.

"So what's with the makeup?" Ben asked as he walked.

"Hm?" Sans asked, trailing behind him.

"The makeup you wear. It's smeared, but they mentioned you cover your tattoos with makeup. What's that about? I thought you said you didn't mind."

"Just because I don't mind," Sans said, "Doesn't mean everyone else doesn't. I go into public with around half of my tattoos displayed, and either people are running away from me because of the violent one's or take my multiple tattoos as invitations to flirt with me. Every single time."

"Heh... that's actually why I'm here." Ben looked back. "How I became a Creepypasta, because of my soulmate mark. My parents didn't like how it was a knife, and let's say they didn't handle it well, especially when I was near a lake. So I understand how you feel about being judged."

"Oh..." Sans shrugged his shoulders. "I guess it feels good to find people who understand, huh?"

"Guess so."

"So, I do have to ask," Sans said, "Is everyone here going to act like Eyeless Jack when they see me?"

Out of nowhere a woman stepped out of a room down the hall, black hair tangled and a dark grey nightgown hanging from her body. She groggily ran a hand through her hair before she paused, noticing Sans, then quickly backed into the room she just left from and slammed the door shut.

"Yup," Ben said. 


	10. Chapter 9 - On the Fridge

Ben and Sans had ended up stationed inside of the kitchen, talking about some general information as Ben offered some cereal for breakfast. Soon, Sans had gotten some more knowledge about everyone.

CreepyPastas were known as internet horror stories, but were assumed to be made up. Ben had died when he was 10, and now was stuck looking like an edgy version of link as he grew up. Jeff, who had walked into the kitchen shortly after they started eating. He had been burned alive when he was 13, and is considered the "noobie" CreepyPasta because he became one the shortest time ago. Ben was around 15 now, and Jeff was 16, the two being soulmates. They got along, and were pretty fun to hang out with.

"Yeah, I saw Jane upstairs, she asked me what dress looked best on her," Jeff said, leaning against his arm. "Which means she's freaking out because she asked for my opinion."

"I seriously don't get why everyone is freaking out," Sans said, "I once drank a three month old experienced milk jug just so I could make a pun. Spoiler alert, the pun was great. But it's fine if you guys kill, no need to freak out or try to impress me."

"The whole point of being a CreepyPasta is that we have like, nothing else but this," Ben said, leaning back in his chair. "We have no families, no home but this, nothing but insanity and killing."

"And cereal," Sans said.

"And cereal," Jeff said.

"But I think soulmates are our last stop, really," Ben said, "I found mine early, but they hadn't found theirs for awhile. I talked a bit about it to Brian, and he told me it was like... well, it was worrying. You know, they all share one soulmate, and you're some random, normal dude. They don't wanna blow this."

"They can't exactly 'blow it' if they don't talk to me," Sans said, "In more ways than one."

It took Jeff a moment, but Ben was quick, doubling over when he got the dirty joke.

"That's what I've been telling them!" Jeff said, "They can't have a chance with you if they just keep stalking you. Like right now, I see you over there Helen!"

Sans turned to briefly see a white mask before someone was ducking behind the doorway, disappearing from sight.

"Dear Toby Fox," Sans said, before loudly calling out, "I don't bite dude, it's fine!"

Silence.

"How long had he been standing there?" Sans asked.

"Not too long," Jeff said, "Not like Toby, who got really excited when he heard you coming then panicked and climbed on top of the fridge."

"Who did what now?"

Sure enough, when he looked at the fridge, he found a man crouched on top of it. It was the same one with the goggles that night, the one who yelled about kidnapping him. Alrighty then.

"Have you been up there this entire time?" Sans asked him.

"N-No... Yes..." He muttered.

"You know you can come down here and talk to me, right?" Sans said, "You did yell about kidnapping me, and here I am. Sort of kidnapped."

"S-Shut up," He said.

Despite looking a bit nervous and hesitant, he climbed down from the fridge, sitting next to Sans on the stool. He gave a slight, awkward wave, not saying any words.

"How about we start simple?" Sans asked, holding out his hand. "I'm Sans, Sans the skeleton."

"Ticci T-Toby."

"Finally," Jeff muttered.

Toby nervously shook Sans' hand, both excited and awkward. He looked like he wanted to both jump Sans and run for the door.

"Dude, I don't care if you kill, seriously," Sans said, "But how about we start simple? What's your tattoo?"

"Um, w-well, we all have skeleton m-marks," Toby said, "That's how we all knew w-we had the same skeleton s-soulmate."

Toby reached up, gently pulling aside his goggles. He hesitated for a moment before pulling away his mouth mask, revealing the injury on the side of his face. Sans dropped his spoon when he finally saw his face.

"Is this why most of my soulmates wear face covers?" Sans asked, "Because you're all really hot?"

"U-Um, here's my soulmate mark."

Toby pushed aside his shirt to show off his chest, particularly the left side. Aside from the ripped chest (yeah Sans was definitely eyeing him) there lay a soulmate tattoo. It almost matched the injury on his cheek, with the skin pulled back to show off a ribcage, as if his chest was actually opened for his real ribcage with streches of skin and muscle covering bits and pieces. Of course, it was only a tattoo, but it looked awesome.

" _And_ you have a ripped chest? Man, why didn't I get kidnapped sooner?" Sans said, leaning against his hand.

Toby looked down at Sans with a collecting blush, then looked up at the two teenage boys who were pretending they weren't listening.

"Get out, I'm g-going to make out with him," Toby said.

"Yup, okay," Jeff said.

The two scurried before Toby was suddenly planting his hands onto Sans' pelvis, lifting him onto the counter after he swept the bowls of cereal to the side.

"Oh man, someone's had some repressed urges," Sans joked, running a hand through Toby's hair. "Ooh, fluffy."

"I've been wanting to make out with you for s-sometime now," Toby muttered.

"Heh, guess you just wanted to bone me-"

Before Sans could finish his fantastic pun, Toby was upon him, pressing his lips against Sans' lack of lips. He pulled Sans flush against him, causing the box within Sans' pocket to rumble about. Only then did they notice the music, their make out session quickly stopped.

"Wait, n-no!" Toby said, "I just g-got you!"

"Hehe, too late!"

Then Laughing Jack was behind him.

Long arms wrapped around Sans' pelvis, pulling him away from Toby to the large clown.

"Hiya Sansy."

"Hi Laughing Jack," Sans said.

"You were gone all night! I almost burned down your house how much I freaked out!" Laughing Jack said.

"That sounds about right," Sans said, patting his head. "Sorry about that."

Toby pulled Sans back forward, glaring at the clown. "N-No. You got dibs first, it's m-my turn!"

"Too bad, so sad," He sung, pulling Sans back.

"Hey, I'm willing for a thresome of you guys are," Sans said, "I ain't a picky guy."

"I am," Laughing Jack said, "I don't share with dirt heads."

"And I don't share with s-stupid mean clowns t-that steal my soulmate."

"My soulmate."

"No, m-mine!"

" _Our_ soulmate."

Suddenly, two familiar hands were grasping onto Sans, pulling him up off the counter away from the two. There stood Slenderman, picking up Sans again and hoisting him over his shoulder, holding him out of reach from the two fighting men.

"He's all of ours, there's a reason to why we're all fated to be with him," He said, "And I thought we agreed that you guys would stay back and let me explain."

"Nooo, my potato,"Laughing Jack said, teaching out for Sans.

"You were gone for a long time," Ben explained, peaking around the corner. "He woke up and they all picked me to explain. He knows the basics and stuff."

"Yup," Sans ssid, patting Slenderman's shoulder. "Thanks for the save by the way."

"No problem- Laughing Jack, no, you don't get him right now. We have to properly explain and set boundaries, we all can't hound him." Slender pulled back from the group.

"N-No, this isn't fair! I-I just got him!" Toby said.

"This is why I have to have a discussion with him, so we can organize time with this chaos," Slenderman said, "We can't just call dibs."

"Too late! I call d-dibs!" Toby said, raising his hand.

"Slender, you have to respect the rules of dibs," Sans said.

"No."

"Sorry Tobs, I tried."

Slender turned, ordering Toby to not claim 'dibs' on a living person as he walked away. Now able to see into the other room, he saw a similarly tall man that looked like Slenderman, but had a smile and was wearing a colorful outfit. Sans gave a wave, and he returned it gleefully.

"Do we not even get to talk to him?" A new males voice asked, out of view.

"Not until we finalize a schedule."

"Oh c-come on!"

"You enjoying your harem?" Ben joked, leaning against a wall.

"It's fantastic," Sans joked back, "I can't wait to lose my puns and stand up to become a personality-less, brown haired anime protagonist."

"Same," Ben said, "One day I shall have a harem of Jeff's to serve my every whim and need."

"No," Jeff called out from the other room.

"Too late, we're going to make an army of you," Sans replied.


	11. Chapter 10 - Splendorman

"I apologize for their behavior, I had originally intended to be here when you woke up to avoid confusion," Slender said, sitting behind his desk.

"Ay, it's no problem," Sans said, "Ben explained about the whole CreepyPasta thingy, so I got the basics. You guys are weird killers, I'm yer soulmate, it's cool."

"That doesn't avoid the confusion of having multiple soulmates," Slender said, "Nine is frankly... difficult to deal with."

"I'm just that loveable." Sans shot finger guns at the taller.

"Yes, you're small and adorable. I do have a plan set out if you'd like to read it."

"For the soulmate thing? Sure, I'll take... a..."

Sans fell silent as Slender produced out a large pile of papers from behind his desk, handing them over to Sans. Sans blinked down at the massive pile of words.

"Plan one of 34?" Sans asked, looking up at his soulmate with wide eye sockets.

"Different plans for different encounters," Slenderman explained, "A few plans if you didn't like us, a few if you did, and a few if you were another CreepyPasta."

"Is this college formatted?" Sans muttered, flipping through the pages. "Even my professional standup isn't this organized. F*cking hell- you cited your _sources_?"

"I'm a thorough man," Slender said.

Sans put down the pages. "I bet all of your plans are awesome, but I read enough essays in high school. And I'm lazy."

"That's fair, around half of those plans don't apply to this situation anyway," Slender said, pulling them back.

"Oh crap."

When his hand had reached out, Sans caught sight of his tattoo, leaning forward in his chair from surprise. The tattoo was rather...

It looked awesome!

As if it was an extension of his face tattoo, finishing off the top of the moon and continuing the star filled night. In the middle, however, sat Sans on the edge of a cliff, his hood pulled up as he stared up towards the sparkling sky. If Slender put his hand right above where Sans' tattoo finished, his would have continued it to create the full picture.

Darn, that actually looked really cool. No doubt it caught Sans' love for watching the stars, and his own tattoo must have caught Slender's love for forests. It was a good match.

"Okay, so," Slender said, "We know some basic things about you. Such as your standup, which was how we found you, and your love for puns from stalking you. Which you have an endless supply of them, it seems."

"Guilty."

"I believe a good way to ease into your soulmates would likely be Splendor," Slenderman said, "You waved to him before I carried you here. He's the only one who doesn't kill out of us, and he's always overwhelmingly positive... _sickingly_ positive, but a good start nevertheless."

"That can work," Sans said, "But thanks again for saving me from that other weird guy who tried to... ya know, do that."

"Yes, I've dealt with him," Slender said, "I believe it was more chaotic when I brought you back. Everyone had not been expecting that."

"Oops," Sans chuckled.

Time to go meet Splendor.

~~~~~~

"And I love puppies, do you want a puppy?"

"No, please, I have enough gifts."

Slenderman had been right. Splendorman, his brother, had so much overwhelming positivity that he just kept summoning random items and gifting them. First it had been a new hoodie, then some ketchup, then for some reason a plush bird? After that it kept going, and here he was, surrounded by various gifts from the taller. His hand, a tattoo of a ketchup bottle with bones behind it, waved around excitedly.

"Tell me everything about yourself," Splendor said, eagerly sitting down criss crossed in front of Sans. "I _love_ bonding."

"Why don't we do something while we talk?" Sans asked, "It'd be weird if you just sat and stared at me. Like maybe a card game?"

"That works!"

That's how they ended up playing Uno.

Sans learned that Splendor loved frankly everything. Bees? They could sting, but they were fluffy and helped spread pollen. Spiders? They were just misunderstood. Wasps?

Splendor was terrified of them. He physically shuddered at the word, and looked around, asking "Where?" in a frantic tone.

"Uno," Sans said, setting down a card.

"Yay, you're winning! I'm so happy for you!" Splendor said, clapping his hands together.

"You are just a ball of pure sunshine and joy," Sans said, grinning. "It's a good thing, though. I like it."

"Of course! Everyone likes happiness!" Splendor said, "And I know you said not to but here's a puppy-"

Suddenly, he was pulling out a small puppy out of thin air and handing it to Sans before Sans could object. The dog lightly nipped on his arm bones, tail wagging happily.

"- and he needs a friend so here's another puppy-"

"Wait, Splendor, I don't need- okay then."

Now Sans was holding two puppies. Yes, they were adorable, and yes, they wouldn't stop chewing on his bones.

"I'm now surrounded by three fluffballs of pure happy energy," Sans joked, "Guess I was barking up the wrong tree."

"Yay, puns!" Splendor said.

Sans stared down at the two puppies he was holding for a second, then looked up towards Splendor. "What am I supposed to do with these? I ain't a parent."

"You are now!" Splendor said, "We're doggie parents, so we can get practice before we have an adorable child! BoBo will be their name! I'm sorry, there's no debate about that, it's a gender neutral name and that's a deal breaker if you say no."

"Nah, it's fine, you can choose the name," Sans said, "But I think it's too early to be thinking about children."

"But babies!" Splendor groaned, "They're cute and small and chubby so I can squish their cheeks and I love them. I love everything."

"But wasps." Sans winked.

Splendor scowled. "They're mean and they always sting me. They are the reason why everything else is perfect and amazing, because wasps are the evil of the world.

"I would pat your shoulder, but I have two dogs just... here," Sans said, "Can you unsummon them? Put them back? I don't know what to do with these."

"Pet them!" Splendor said.

"Skeletons and dogs don't have the best history," Sans said, "Like my bro and I- Oh f*ck, Papyrus!"

Sans quickly set aside the two puppies and pulled out his phone, looking down at the brightly lit screen. His phone was utterly spammed with messages. A few from Toriel and Asgore, a few more from Alphys, a bunch more from Undyne, and an entire gallery from Papyrus. Whoops.

"Papyrus?" Splendor asked.

"My bro, I didn't tell him what happened," Sans said, "I dunno, maybe I should-"

"F*CK!"

That scream from Ben was followed by a series of crashes and more explicit language, his body coming into view as he tumbled down the stairs. He finally crashed at the bottom, landing on an awkward angel that looked utterly hilarious.

So Sans took a picture. With him grinning towards the camera, one of the puppies chewing on his chin, and Ben collapsed in the background. The image was quickly sent to Papyrus with a simple caption to join it.

'Been kidnapped, whoopsie'


	12. Chapter 11 - Slenderman

"So what did Papyrus say?" Slenderman asked, folding his hands onto his lap.

"He sent about 20 messages freaking out, then he finally figured out he could call me," Sans said, scrolling through his phone. "And now I'm going home at six."

"I doubt the conversation was that simple."

"Nah, he had a few panic attacks, started making his stress spaghetti. He was pretty mad I didn't tell him earlier."

"Because you were too busy flirting with Toby and Splendor."

"Well, now I'm too busy flirting with you."

Slenderman looked up from his notes. "You call this flirting?"

"I mean, you could take your pants off and we could try," Sans said.

"I wouldn't mind that. But I should let you know if we were to do that you wouldn't be going home at six." He set aside his papers.

"Oh, now I'm very interested in how that'd go, having sex with you."

"Just google it. Trust me, there are plenty of fanfictions relating to me and my... well, my extra appendages, per say."

"I'm not that perverted, Slendie."

"I can see you typing it in right now."

"Well... I have to know and go home by six tonight. It's a good compromise."

Slender looked through a few more papers, and Sans gazed up from his phone to watch his soulmate. He looked pretty busy constantly, from the very few times Sans has seen him.

"So," Sans said, "Do you run this entire thing?"

"Logically speaking, yes. The other killers within this house are rather... eccentric, per say, so I am the one in charge."

"That's cool. No wonder you run away to your office, you seem like an opposite of everyone. Especially Splendor."

"I'm the opposite of all of my brothers. We all have rather different interests, but thankfully only Splendor and I are your soulmates."

"Good thing."

Sans scooted his chair forward, looking down at the papers.

"What exactly are these for?"

"Organization. Who does what chores, who kills when, you know, it keeps this mansion afloat."

"I think you overwork yourself, bud."

Slender chuckled. "I do believe so, yes."

"I think I got a solution for that."

Slenderman looked up to see Sans twirling one of his hoodie strings around his finger. "I think I got a good solution to relieve some stress. Take off your tie."

~~~~~~

Slenderman and Sans sat in front of a T.V, both wearing pajamas with a bowl of popcorn between them.

"This was a fantastic idea," Slender said.

"Watching the Office is great for stress, works 100% of the time," Sans said, winking at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can see my will to write this book rapidly deteriorating, whoops
> 
> But hey I warned ya guys that the writing was going to drop, and yup it's happening, rip. I'll finish the story but I actually have no interest in this story


	13. Chapter 12 - Eyeless Jack

"Are... are you okay?"

Sans gently knocked on the closet door, trying to see the man. He had barely gotten to enter the room before Eyeless Jack had panicked yet again, climbing into the closet and shutting the door before Sans could even get a word out.

"Hey, you know I'm fine with your diet as well, right?" Sans asked, "Slender explained it to me. I'm cool with anything you guys throw at me, really, so you don't have to be embarrassed."

Silence.

"Dude, I thought you already came out of the closet," Sans joked.

A muffled laugh escaped from within at his joke. Good, progress. Sans sat down next to the door, folding his arms onto his lap.

"So um, I'm not really sure what to talk about," Sans said, "Whenever I do my standup that's written and planned before, so yikes. I did do improve class when I was younger, so let me bury up those skills... your mom- wait no that's an insult. Well, I have a skele-ton of those to say. I think Masky and Hoodie told all of you guys about the comedy show, didn't they?"

"... Yeah..." A soft voice said from inside.

"It was a mess, and I'm pretty sure you guys are the ones who burned down that guys house. I don't blame you, seriously that guy sucked. So thanks for that."

"... No problem."

"You're name is Eyeless Jack, right? And you wear a blue mask?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's my soulmate mark. It's a blue mask on my sternum. What's yours?"

"It's a hand skeletal structure on my shoulder."

"Nice, a classic. Name's Sans, by the way, but I think you know that. I like blue, it's a nice color... what's your favorite color."

"Blue as well."

Sans turned. "Oh, sweet, that's pretty cool. Blue is the superior color."

"It is."

They sat in silence, Sans looking over at the closet again. Guy was pretty shy, no doubt about that. At least everyone else he's talked to so far were more open.

The closet creaked open slightly, and Sans turned to look again, but suddenly grey hands were reaching out and grasping him, dragging him into the dark space. After a moment of adjusting through the darkness, Sans had been settled onto his lap, Eyeless Jack hugging him from behind.

"I just like to cuddle," He mumbled, burying his head into Sans' shoulder.

"Same," Sans said, patting his head. "But you know, you could have just asked me instead of dragging me in here."

"I'm sorry, I'm really nervous," Eyeless Jack said quietly, "You're just really small and cute."

"Well you're normal height and adorable. I'd call it a fair trade."

~~~~~~

"Hey, Jack and Sans, your time is-"

Ben looked into the room, looking around the empty space. He then noticed the closet door, and heard certain sound coming from within.

"Nope," Ben said, closing the door.


	14. Chapter 13 - A Rushed Conclusion

Things have been going well. After meeting everyone, surprisingly the worries Sans had been holding onto for years were disproven. They had no intentions of ever hurting Sans' friends and family, his only real concern, so they all moved along with bonding pretty well.

Overall, Sans found he actually enjoyed all of his soulmates. They were all fun in their unique ways, and each had a different bond with Sans. Heck, they even got along with Papyrus, which was nice.

Jane's soulmate mark of Sans was a ribcage running down her back, looking similar to Toby's tattoo. She was firm and confident, although constantly checking that she looked nice, she took the reign of their hangout session. Which quickly descended into making out, but it's what most of them did, it seemed.

After that he had met with Bloody Painter, or Helen, who was pretty surprised Sans didn't ask him to draw him. Apparently, artists went through that alot, poor guy. His own tattoo was crossed bones on his right hand, the hand he used to paint with. When they hung out, Sans simply accompanied Helen as he painted with blood. Then was promptly kissing him. It was a weird day.

Masky, or Tim, was up next, and all they did was make out. All day. They stopped shortly after to watch Parks and Rec, a decision both were happy with, before they watched Slenderman chase out Offender with the end of a broom. Parks and Rec was frankly hilarious, but it didn't compare to that. Sans was pretty happy to watch the guy get chased out.

Hoodie, who's real name was Brian, came after, and they mostly just watched conspiracy videos. Which was odd, as CreepyPastas themselves _were_ conspiracies, but he rolled with it. Brian was surprisingly into Bigfoot, and loved to watch videos about him. They mostly held hands, but Sans was also pretty cool with that. He was usually down for anything. His soulmate mark was a white heart, a monsters soul, over where his was, with two bones wrapped around it.

It was fun to bond with everyone, and to spend time with them. After their original bonding days set up by Slenderman, they all just hung out. Sometimes at the mansion, and other times at Sans' house. His brother and friends, while surprised by the sudden outburst of serial killers within their lives, had adapted to the situation. It became a normal routine, and Sans was happy with it.

In the end, he loved his CreepyPasta Soulmates.

And that's all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, that's it, I'm done. This is the conclusion. 
> 
> Hey, I warned you guys, didn't I? I mean, I finished it, just really rushed and extremely badly, lol. Seriously, I never planned to ever continue this story. When I have no plot or threat, I tend to become stagnant in my writing, as you can tell. I did finish it, but I'm sorry the conclusion is only 400 words. I tried, I really did, but now I want to burn this book. I procrastinated so hard I finished my animaiton meme before I finished writing 400 words. 
> 
> So yeah, that's it for this story, because like I said, this is about the extent I can write. Don't worry, if you want an actual good Creepypasta x Undertale story, check out my several other stories on my profile. Those are way better, and I actually had plans and wanted to write them. I'd highly recommend Sans' House Guests


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